[C2015]

I have a niece that's in elementary school. She's been told not to say any comments on how people look. I have big boobs & she criticized me saying I have long boobs. She's criticized other things about me. Then one day she used my mom's phone to call me. It was like a slap in the face when she said please don't say your busy she said everyone she called that night was busy. It really hurt my feelings her saying those things. It's not just her who treat me that way. The rest of my family treats me the same way. I'm not important to my family.

[Skeezyks]

Hello C2015: I'm sorry you're feeling so unimportant. Kids can be really thoughtless. I recall once, many years ago now, my brother-in-law's daughter looked at me over dinner & pronounced: "You're fat!" (Actually I wasn't particularly I didn't think... maybe a bit on the heavy side. But, in her eyes, I guess I looked fat.) Anyway... with kids... I think one just has to let it go. They're kids. They probably don't even think about what they're saying.

Adults, of course, are a different matter. With adults I think, if they're saying things that hurt your feelings, you certainly have the right to tell them so, if you feel you can. To some extent, this becomes a matter of boundaries. You have the right to establish & enforce personal boundaries... what you will & won't tolerate from people. California therapist Kati Morton, who uploads mental health related videos onto her YouTube channel, uploaded a video recently where she talked about establishing & enforcing boundaries. If you were able to go to Kati's YouTube channel & find that video, you might find what she said to be of benefit.

As far as what to do with how you feel about what family members have said to you, this is of course another matter. If you have the benefit of seeing a therapist, these are good things to discuss with that person. You can certainly post, here on PC, with regard to what has been said & how it made you feel. Sometimes just writing about such things can help. Journaling might be another option. There are also practices, such as those taught in the Buddhist tradition (e.g. compassionate abiding), for handling how one feels about such things. However, this becomes a more complicated subject. You could, however, look into some of this if it was of interest. I wish you well...

Are you able to take a family member with you to a therapy or psychiatric session? Are you able to set up a meeting with a peer counsellor?

My support group encourages newbies to bring along a family member or support person to a meeting(s) early on. I think family members and friends are scared by mental illness or uncomfortable enough they are not sure how to react. Of course, much of this will stem from a lack of understanding and tendancy to think the worse. Hence the need to educate them by encouraging them to going along to a meeting or session.

[divine1966]

The rest of the family being nasty is a problem and I am sorry. But I wouldn't let what young niece says bother me

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[KristenRenee]

Originally Posted by C2015

I have a niece that's in elementary school. She's been told not to say any comments on how people look. I have big boobs & she criticized me saying I have long boobs. She's criticized other things about me. Then one day she used my mom's phone to call me. It was like a slap in the face when she said please don't say your busy she said everyone she called that night was busy. It really hurt my feelings her saying those things. It's not just her who treat me that way. The rest of my family treats me the same way. I'm not important to my family.

Hi there. I totally understand how you feel. My family is the same way, Even my husband has been treating me bad and saying mean things to me and it makes me feel like a piece of crap. The best way for me to handle it to stay away even from family if they make you feel bad. Nobody, not even family has the right to treat you bad and say hurtful things to you. So I hope things will go better for you. Good Luck.