[Sarmas]

Im still trying to cope with past issues with my T after 3 months. I had a dream where her favorite client was having an eating disorder issue and I was trying to help her. In my dream I decided to call my T but then I realized that she would think that it's about me and calling her after termination would've been wrong. So in my dream I decided to text her and I made sure that the first sentence was that it wasn't about me but about her favorite patient. I knew that she would respond then. Well in my dream she responded immediately and thanked me for it and it was over. When I was her client I always felt like I didn't matter and like I was a bother. I felt like she accepted me eca use I could fill a slot but really eve at times we had scheduling issues and she would move me around to accomodate others which made me feel even less than a person to her. His dream just brought about all of these feelings to the surface and now I'm trying to cope.

[Skeezyks]

[Rose76]

Are you thinking about seeing a different T? Clearly this one you describe was not someone you were able to develop a good relationship with. Therapists aren't supposed to have favorite clients. How did you get the impression that your former therapist did? I guess the scheduling thing could have been part of that. How long had you been seeing this T? It sounds like you needed to feel cared about and didn't get that.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by Rose76

Are you thinking about seeing a different T? Clearly this one you describe was not someone you were able to develop a good relationship with. Therapists aren't supposed to have favorite clients. How did you get the impression that your former therapist did? I guess the scheduling thing could have been part of that. How long had you been seeing this T? It sounds like you needed to feel cared about and didn't get that.

You're right. I felt like I was just a person who filled her slot at times. there were a few sessions that I feel like she actually was more involved but especially the last 6 months or so prior to me ending sessions it was very upsetting. Sometimes I just thought that she has way too many clients for her lifestyle. She has the few that she treats very differently. For example she diagnosed me with an eating disorder and knew that I was running into major issues. She used to eat with me in the beginning to get me accustomed to eating and then stopped. She religiously did it with others. also knowing that I was having major issues in my life and depressed she cut down my days from twice to once a week . She does have this one particular client she adores. I believe this was that first client that she struggled with an eating disorder for years. My T would use her in class and our whole class was based on her life. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that my T was my professor prior to me starting therapy. This one client still works with her side by side doing presentations and so on. She has been seeing her now for Maybe 7-8 years. My T has dined at her house. I know all of this because she told the whole class about it. That's what made me choose her. I thought that she was so caring but what I learned is that it is a business and that she does play favorites. She has a bigger heart for teens. She's in her 30s. There's quite a bit involved. As for me continuing therapy I'm not sure about it. This was not such a great experience. It's hard for me to place that trust with someone else. I'm still trying to get over me ending therapy with her. It was disappointing how it ended.

[Rose76]

This reminds me of when I was in a Partial Hospitalization Program. Their special focus was PTSD, which was not my issue. I felt like the odd one in the bunch.

One day, they needed us to all quickly sign some care plans that a state inspector was coming in to check. They didn't even want us to read them. I did. Mine said I had slashed my wrists, which was untrue. So I objected to signing something false. The doctor took a pen and crossed out what was fictional and said, "There . . . are you happy, now?" (Gee . . . excuse me for being such a nuisance!)

That's when I decided that some of what they did was submit whatever paperwork would get them the most funding. It wasn't about me. It was about their program and their funding.

The set-up you describe, Sarmas, does sound like the T has too many things occupying her attention at once. I believe you were neglected in favor of those whose problems she has some particular interest in. I figured out that I was their least favorite participant in the program I was in.

If you can get it funded, I would encourage you to seek out a T who just does office visits, one-on-one. It might help you to recover from this recent experience. It shouldn't be a competition. I like an office where I don't even see any other client.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by Rose76

This reminds me of when I was in a Partial Hospitalization Program. Their special focus was PTSD, which was not my issue. I felt like the odd one in the bunch.

One day, they needed us to all quickly sign some care plans that a state inspector was coming in to check. They didn't even want us to read them. I did. Mine said I had slashed my wrists, which was untrue. So I objected to signing something false. The doctor took a pen and crossed out what was fictional and said, "There . . . are you happy, now?" (Gee . . . excuse me for being such a nuisance!)

That's when I decided that some of what they did was submit whatever paperwork would get them the most funding. It wasn't about me. It was about their program and their funding.

The set-up you describe, Sarmas, does sound like the T has too many things occupying her attention at once. I believe you were neglected in favor of those whose problems she has some particular interest in. I figured out that I was their least favorite participant in the program I was in.

If you can get it funded, I would encourage you to seek out a T who just does office visits, one-on-one. It might help you to recover from this recent experience. It shouldn't be a competition. I like an office where I don't even see any other client.

That's horrible that they would falsify information to benefit themselves. You're absolutely right. Then on top of that to have to get it corrected and you receiving an attitude for it is uncalled for. You're just looking for what's just with the correct information. It's true there are those that don't get the attention and care that we need and it unfortunately defeats the purpose for seeking out therapy. She was a one on one and had her own office. She only worked two days but her two days were packed with clients back to back. I would sit in a small area with other clients as well waiting for other therapists. She sometimes would finish hiding a few minutes of her last session with her door open while she said her goodbyes. I felt like she was disinterested in my case and just minimized it. Everything we spoke about she tried to see how I was wrong and others were right. It was quite disturbing because I felt like I had to defend my stance at all times. She questioned everything I said as if I saw it in a distorted way. This was with even proven facts and evidence. I never felt like she was on my side.