Working through shame

My former therapist used to say that shame is the only emotion that carries no informative value. According to her, its message - 'I'm bad' - is just always wrong..

I've kind of come to feel this is true, but I still can't let my shame go..

The other day, I imagined a friend coming over, and immediately started feeling ashamed at 'just being seen' by them.. The shame just is in my body.

But then I think it's also (or totally?) in my head.. I can think I'm bad because.. I wasn't accepted by my dad - but surely, I could just as easily think I'm not bad because of that?

So what do I get from thinking I'm bad.. It allows me to hide. I don't have to be seen with my true emotions.

Like with that friend example.. I wondered what it is that I really feel that I have to hide behind shame - and realised I'm 'mad that this friend wasn't there for me'! And I feel I can't tell them because 'I don't want to hurt their feelings'..

I don't really even know where I'm going with this.. Guess I just need to get this out to clear my thoughts and pave my way forward..

(((not.deat.yet)))
It's good you're sharing your thoughts and opinions. Keep doing that
And I can relate tou what you wrote... I'm sorry

My PTSD has me dealing with a great deal of shame and guilt

Shame is a challenge that a lot of people struggle with. The important thing to work on is self forgiveness and developing an understanding that there is simply no such thing as "perfect". Also, if part of the shame comes from a parent that simply did not "value" you the way you needed, that was something that parent did not know how to do and has nothing to do with you or your value or worthiness.

Shame has been a big problem for me too. Watching Brene Brown talks helped me understand how to deal with some of it. Finding people to trust, like a good T has helped too.