[Heather Unbalanced]

So, if you look at my post history you can see that I just recently had an issue with my boyfriends family still being involved with his ex (not him. his family). And that had been resolved for the most part. But now I am having trouble controlling my jealousy with my boyfriend. I am also going to be posting this in "Relationships and Communication."

We have been together for 2 years.

Okay my boyfriend is am amazing man. He is 29 (30 in December) and I am 26 (27 in January). He is very against cheating because f numerous reasons and logically, I understand that he would never do that to me. But what about when it comes to emotional cheating? What if he doesn't even realize he's doing it? Is that possible?


Alright, so he is good friends with this woman. I'll call her B. I noticed that he talks to her through text quite often. So one day, in my panic, I checked his phone (I know, I know). What I saw was her being very flirty with him and my guy was ignoring it and continuing on the conversation. Their friendship isn't casual. It's apparently a good one and shes "an awesome person."


Well, the other day, boyfriend and I had a great day. We ended the night with me laying with him and he showed me his instagram feed of a bunch of baristas making latte art. He is a barista and is passionate about so I wanted to learn a little. It was around 9:30 at night. While we were doing this, B texted him. The banner at the top said," So I'm at 'our' store. . ." and for a while I tried to ignore it.


Eventually, I couldn't and he knew something was up. So I explained that it greatly bothered me that we were having bonding time and she texted "our store." Basically, he told me that the coffee shop he used to work in, she used to work in also. She quit before he started working there but she would go and visit a lot and thats how they met. I dropped it.


Because theyre such good friends, I decided to find her on instagram and introduce myself. I said, "Hey Im ***'s girlfriend. I know youre good friends so I wanted to reach out and say hello, lol."
Well, that was yesterday morning and I still havnt heard anything back from her. She can talk to my boyfriend all day but cant respond to me?
Is this something I should forget about? Bring it up if the situation calls for it? Tell him now that it seems like a red flair? Why can she talk to him and not me?

Please, someone help me here. I'm dying in my jealousy and I have no idea if my concerns are just paranoia or something more. I really need help.


P.S. A few months ago, I took a crush I had too far and developed a relationship with the person through texting. I ended that before anything really bad happened. Is it possible i'm transferring what I did onto my boyfriend? Or does it actually sound like there are some red flags here?

I posted elsewhere and got a lt of flack for it. Briefly, I believe his acquaintanceship is okay up until the point they become confidants. That is a no go for me and personally a deal breaker.

I would suggest you communicate this if you haven't done already. I've been bitten before. So, with this current relationship, I laid down the law.

I also know of the temptation to check. It can really reel one in, can't it? Have that conversation. It should also include his own deal breakers. Perhps, in having the conversation, he will realize this is such an important bother. You too may be surprized about his feeling on other matters.