[BBRain]

I lost my mom 1 year, 2 months, and 25 days ago. But she wasn't just my mom; she was my best friend.

To make matters worse, I had to move out of the house that my brother, my mom and I lived in for five years at the coast, and now I live in a very, very small apt. with my brother, my dad, my oldest sister, and her boyfriend. And not only that, but my sister is now controlling everyone and everything in the house by screaming and yelling and throwing major fits when she doesn't get what she wants (literally like a two-year old).

If anyone, even our dad, tells her to do anything she doesn't want to do, she'll start screaming and cussing up a storm worse than anyone else I've ever heard. So that's why I generally go along with whatever she wants. But today was the first time in God-knows-how-long that I tried sticking up for myself when she tried to interrupt me while I was talking, and she called me horrible names, yelled at my dad and me, and then stormed off to her room.

And sadly, since I have no job, am going to school full-time, and my dad's name is on the lease, he and I can't start looking for a new place to live, yet...

That sounds very difficult and I'm sorry. Your sister does not sound pleasant at all to put it mildly. How much longer do you have in school?

I am very sorry about your mom. My mom is my best friend and I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. (((Hugs)))

[Yzen]

Did your sister start the controlling behavior in the last year? She may be trying to control things to make herself feel secure because losing your mom may have made her afraid of the reality that we are not in control. Just guessing.

I am so sorry you have this tough situation to deal with right now. Life can feel like it is getting worse and then turn around and get better. I hope it turns for you soon.

[gayleggg]

Having a controlling person living with you can be really bad. I don't imagine she sees any sense in getting help in the way of therapy. I don't have any good advice for you, but just wanted to let you know that someone cares.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm really sorry things have turned out so bad for you... I hope your life will improve at some point. Until then, don't give up, and know that here at PC we care about you and we'll listen.

[Thunder Bow]

Originally Posted by Yzen

Did your sister start the controlling behavior in the last year? She may be trying to control things to make herself feel secure because losing your mom may have made her afraid of the reality that we are not in control. Just guessing.

I am so sorry you have this tough situation to deal with right now. Life can feel like it is getting worse and then turn around and get better. I hope it turns for you soon.

I agree, she is reacting to her mothers death. She needs help with working though this.

[tricolor]

ask her calmly why she behaves like this. sometimes realizing why we behave how we do and realizing how our behavior is not helping anybody can have great results
i wish you best luck (((BBRain)))

[Acorn Oaktree]

Hi BBRain!

I am so sorry for your loss!

One thing to remember is that all behaviour is communication. I do not believe that she is acting controlling to make your life worse. There is something going on in her life that she doesn't quite know how to communicate safely. It could be the loss of your mother, it could be the loss of your house, it could be both, it could be something completely different or combined with the first two issues. Try asking her questions about her life. You might have to deal with the abuse for a bit, but if you can help her figure out what it is that is getting to her, or what she can do to have more positive control in her life, then things will get better. How old is she? If you have the money, you could try to consult with a behavioural consultant. They are great detectives!
I lived with a brother who controlled my mother and I for many years. It's not fun. I can attest to that. But if you can get stuff figured out, the sun will shine!
I wish you well!