[Gaj1983]

I feel lonely, almost all of the time.

This is not a unique feeling, I know. It makes me want to do crazy things though. It makes me wonder about life, and whether anything really matters in the end. Comfort. Maybe being comfortable is all that really matters.

I have always believed that being kind and trying to make the small part of the world you inhabit a bit more beautiful were meaningful pursuits. But in the end, do those even matter? When all we ultimately have to face is the steady march toward death, can anything we do have real meaning?

Does real connection with others exists? Is there any reason to strive for anything? Is being comfortable really the only goal in life? If it is, then I am working way too hard. I could be comfortable with so much less. I could give up, not worry about any of this any more. Not love, not equality, not beauty, and not goodness.

There are so many easier paths toward comfort. Is the struggle really worth it?

[winter4me]

I think the struggle is all there is.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you're struggling with all of this.

[avlady]

i am also sorry you are going through this, i myself pray alot because i'm so scared of death. i can't even comprehend it. i know when i go to wakes and funerals there is a feeling of peace for me. i've been to many and each time gets easier.

[JustMeMyself&I]

I completely get you.
I have had this feeling for... well, as long as I can remember tbh. I think about the same stuff a lot.
I often come to the conclusion that we are so tiny, insignificant and meaningless that nothing actually matters. We're all gonna die and be forgotten in time.
And this fact really makes me upset and angry because we can't do anything about it. Literally nothing.

But.

Living your life, going out to school/work everyday, interacting with others, etc. is literally the only option we have, the only thing we can do. There is a strange reason that is driving us forward in time, the same things that make us (or most of us, at least) not sit at home locked up in our rooms in the dark, awaiting the end.
Something that makes life worth it. Something that makes us bothered to do things.For example, meeting people even though we'll all be gone in time. Loving people even though it will hurt us to lose them.
We as people have this natural instinct to always survive, for as long as we can. Why? We're gonna die anyway right? Still do it.

And honestly, while thinking about existence and meaning, asking yourself 'why?', ask yourself 'why not?'.
Because it's all we can do. That's our task, to make existence mean something, and be worth it.

[Thunder Bow]

Depression can be like and old friend that you find comfort with. That friend is hard to let go of.

[TimTheEnchanter]

The Darkness of Loneliness cannot be fought directly.

There is loneliness that we all fear and there is aloneness. Loneliness is hard to fight because you cannot fight the absence of something only remedy it temporarily. Each and every time we do so we can still have the pang of fear because all the remedies, friends, companions, groups are temporary and transitory.

Aloneness is being whole with existence and not subject to human contact from the standpoint of need. We have something to give and share and there is joy in that. We can do that to anybody, anywhere without expectations and hidden agendas. Thank you Osho for being you and making me a part of this wisdom.

This may or may not help. All my life I have been fighting loneliness until I came upon this video and text from Osho. Here, he explains how loneliness cannot be fought unless you find a substitute (an alternative consciousness) to alleviate this human condition. Aloneness can defeat loneliness and that is the only way.

[Gaj1983]

Originally Posted by TimTheEnchanter

The Darkness of Loneliness cannot be fought directly.

There is loneliness that we all fear and there is aloneness. Loneliness is hard to fight because you cannot fight the absence of something only remedy it temporarily. Each and every time we do so we can still have the pang of fear because all the remedies, friends, companions, groups are temporary and transitory.

Aloneness is being whole with existence and not subject to human contact from the standpoint of need. We have something to give and share and there is joy in that. We can do that to anybody, anywhere without expectations and hidden agendas. Thank you Osho for being you and making me a part of this wisdom.

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[Gaj1983]

Originally Posted by JustMeMyself&I

I completely get you.
I have had this feeling for... well, as long as I can remember tbh. I think about the same stuff a lot.
I often come to the conclusion that we are so tiny, insignificant and meaningless that nothing actually matters. We're all gonna die and be forgotten in time.
And this fact really makes me upset and angry because we can't do anything about it. Literally nothing.

But.

Living your life, going out to school/work everyday, interacting with others, etc. is literally the only option we have, the only thing we can do. There is a strange reason that is driving us forward in time, the same things that make us (or most of us, at least) not sit at home locked up in our rooms in the dark, awaiting the end.
Something that makes life worth it. Something that makes us bothered to do things.For example, meeting people even though we'll all be gone in time. Loving people even though it will hurt us to lose them.
We as people have this natural instinct to always survive, for as long as we can. Why? We're gonna die anyway right? Still do it.

And honestly, while thinking about existence and meaning, asking yourself 'why?', ask yourself 'why not?'.
Because it's all we can do. That's our task, to make existence mean something, and be worth it.

Thank you MeMyself&I. There are no answers for why and why not, it seems. I wish I could be more hopeful about things, or find meaning in anything. Life is going to go by very slowly for me, and in the end, I will have nothing but my misery to show for it. It's not very cheering to contemplate.
I am happy that you have something that makes it worth it for you.

I remember reading a book by Osho and he said something like "the reason people feel lonely is because they haven't accepted their aloneness." That as an individual person you are alone and it's okay. That gets me through the rough times.

I think life does matter but I also thing comfort is a wonderful thing and being comfortable with less is never a bad thing. When I get depressed I sometimes feel like you do now and even contemplate selling everything I own and living in a van. Just enough comfort until I die cause that's all I'm doing when depressed....waiting for and wishing for death to take me away and end all my pain and sorrows. But when I come out of the depression my love for all things returns and I find meaning in everything. I hope you find some meaning too and your loneliness ends because loneliness is a real killer. (((Hugs)))