I remember I was a "normal" person when I was younger, with some friends. I would do things, and was interested in things. But then things have changed. Now I see no point in my life. Doing nothing. Interested in nothing. Having no one in my life. I feel I'm falling and keep falling. Nothing can change me right now. I'm deeply frustrated of my worthless life. I have nothing to do in my life, yet I'm afraid to sleep and miss out life!! I'm not social. I cannot form relationships with people. And that's the root of my issues. I'm not sure if I'm mad at people because I'm not social, or I'm not social because I'm mad at people. Everyone is a hypocrite in my eyes. Everyone is ego-centric. They just speak from their mouth to feel better about themselves. This doesn't matter. This is called life. For me it's impossible to change after all these years of failing to belong. This world has no mercy for people like me. I cannot do it alone, yet I'm alone, and no one cares, neither a relative nor a stranger. I was studying and dreaming to get a job and get married and travel and live my life, and now these dreams are slipping away. I'm barely keeping a job, and dreaming of a family no more (who would want to live with me in my hell?). Living in my apartment is my world. And watching others living their lives is my life. Death seems much closer to me than life, even if I'm still breathing. All will end before it begins. It has ended and just waiting the announcement. This will be my story in this life; the person who brought here by life, but life rejected him because he wasn't a son of life. End of story. I always feel bad when I write these posts, but I also feel very bad not saying them. In either way I feel frustrated about myself and about how low I've gotten in my life; socially, professionally, mentally, ....

I can relate so much to much of what you've written. Life is so hard and especially hard for those of us with social issues. It's very lonely and hard to feel you belong. You sound very depressed. (((Hugs)))

Are you seeing a doctor or therapist?

I am sorry your life is so terrible right now. Please don't feel guilty about writing the post--that's why this is an anonymous forum. I encourage you to keep posting. I wish I had something more encouraging to say...
I do agree with ElsaMars that you sound depressed. Does your job provide insurance that would pay for you to see a therapist or psychiatrist? Again, don't feel bad about you feelings, lots of us at PC have many of the same thoughts.