[BadNews4321]

Hello everyone.

I am dealing with an issue that I've never run across in my life and am having trouble getting traction to begin to move on.

I attend a weekly support group for mood disorders (I'm bipolar 2), and was concerned for one individual in the group who was isolating more than usual lately. When he didn't attend the weekly meeting after he said he'd be there and wasn't returning phone calls from a number of us, we were concerned. I've noticed his mental state was deteriorating lately and realized this wasn't simply the winter blues.

Yesterday, one person from the group was trying to contact him while I was on the phone between the crisis line asking for advice on how to deal with this and emergency services trying to get someone to take us seriously. Because he has made no direct statements that were scary, it was just very out of character behaviour that was our concern, we wanted to get him some help. Maybe he had a stroke or some issue unrelated to his mental health, since he does not know a lot of people and is estranged from most of his family, we wanted to help out.

I managed to get through the situation, but was having a very tough time with some of the dispatchers after I mentioned my mental health issues and felt I was not being believed. I was actually ready to cry and I am not a crier. I have not been this overwhelmed in years.

I'm grateful the police did take me seriously in the end, but when I got the news that the person I mentioned does not live in that building, I became furious. I have been in his apartment before, gave the correct contact info, but something in this story does not add up now. It seems that he was using a made up alias with us in the group.

I do not know what happened to this person yet. I never got too close to him because he has a history of lying, and trying very hard to fit it. I don't know exactly what happened in his youth, other than it sounds rough. But now I don't know anymore, since he seemingly was not using his real name the whole time he has known me.

I've gone though a very wide range of emotions in one day. From sadness, to desperation, to anger. Luckily, a few of us in the support group get along very well and we got together for a new years coffee to chat things over.

My anxiety is acting up since if I do see this person in the support group again, I do not want to help him or even talk to him after the information the police gave me.

While I feel empathy for him, since I was in very rough shape at one point in my life, my anger is stronger partly because I feel used, mostly for the lies. I feel like a terrible person for being angry at someone in distress. I'm having trouble making sense of it all.

[MickeyCheeky]

It sounds like a complicated situation.. I'm sorry. Don't be angry at yourself - you did the right thing.

[gayleggg]

You did the best you could with the information that you had.

I can understand how you would be angry. None of us like to be lied to. And now you are left wondering what has happened to this person. It's very emotional and frustrating.

Take it easy on yourself. You are only human.

[Unrigged64072835]

You did what any concerned person would do. It's sad that he had to lie to you to feel like one of the group. I do hope he is okay.

[BadNews4321]

Thank you for the replies. It is always a good reminder to not be hard on myself, especially with a situation involving self doubt.

I have an update to the situation. It appears that everyone is ok, except for the part of chronic lying. That is another issue outside the realm of mood disorders. Sadly, there aren't enough support groups where I am and sometimes people show up to groups in desperation, but they have other issues that need to be addressed.

I've been going to these meetings for 10 years and know not to take it personally by now.