I can't handle nervousness

I suffer from social anxiety and have been facing my fears lately by putting myself into scary situations little by little in order to learn I can survive and handle them.. I've noticed a pattern emerging - these situations make me so nervous that I usually end up 'treating' that nervousness by stuffing my face with sugary or fatty (sometimes overly salty) treats..

I was thinking about this today and realised that getting nervous is apparently a trigger for me.. It reminds me of a time when, as a child, I was completely alone - my dad didn't want me and my mum didn't know how to be there for me. My therapist once said babies need their parents (usually the mother) to act as a kind of filter for the babies' overwhelming emotions, staying calm and realising everyone's safe even when the baby's in emotional turmoil.

I didn't have this - my dad wasn't emotionally available at all, and my mum got angry when I was upset I have this sense/memory of my body being 'on fire', of every nerve ending firing away, and that being too much for me.. Me needing to 'let go' in the end, to cut off

Sad as this is, it helps to acknowledge this is how things were.. I feel I can start to see where my reactions to things come from.. I think maybe I learned to soothe myself with food? My mum does this, too.. Maybe I can still learn healthier ways of soothing myself..

Hi! Social anxiety is one of my dearest friends when I'm around people. I think it stems from the fact that my father was punishing or yelling at me me whenever I spoke. I believe I mentioned this before. Anyway once I tried to conquer it by reading this book. I found it interesting, but apparently I wasn't motivated enough to apply the techniques. Maybe it will be of more benefit to you. I believe you can find it in any public library if you don't want to buy it.

I hope you can find your own way to cope with this. Good luck