FEAR!

I have a lot of fear today,I am alone in the world now,I had a sister and mother but both are narcissists that abused me for 37 years.So I cut my sister out of my life two years ago but she still harassed me,nevertheless I have had almost nothing to do with her for two years!10 days ago I cut my mother out of my life.I always had them to fall back on and mum bailed me out of I was stuck financially but there were conditions and abuse attached and even if she was nice there would always follow abuse so better without her.

Except it scares me to have no one.I have a lot of relatives not one of them cares about me,they don't even ever acknowledge my existence or that they know me.It is out of sight out of mind and they would never see me unless I sought them out or ring them up.Deep down I know though that they are selfish narcissists too so I am best away from them.

It is scary to be all alone in the world,I suppose I will get used to it and I will come to see that I am strong,I can look after myself and there are people who care and will come to know me and love me and be here for me.There is no real need to be scared but that is something I can't stop myself feeling right now.....so I try to find some peace of mind and slowly I am feeling more peaceful and free, well the abuse has stopped and that is a good thing!

I am not totally alone,I have my niece,I can't see her or speak to her that often cos she is at university but when she is home at weekends she helps me out with helping me make hot food and get into the shower so she is a blessing and loves me a great deal and I am lucky to have her as a loved one cos her mother still wants me dead and would do anything to harm me again.

It is a lovely sunny day and it helps me with my outlook but there is still some fear there.Can anyone suggest ways to deal with this fear and stop letting it upset me and cause me worry and to be anxious?

I don't have any advice.. just wanted to let you know that we hear your pain. We care.

It seems you are better off being alone, away from mother and sister.