So Angry

I feel so angry and frustrated. I don't feel myself as an independent adult, but as a child who has to follow his parents' wishes. I react to their negativity negatively. I am always in verbal fights with them. I also was hoping to get engaged during my visit to get married later this year or early next year if we get along together, but I don't want to make this move while I feel my parents don't respect me and keep interfering in my life. I know this isn't in my best interest, but I simply cannot make any move and I am treated like a 13 year old child. I no longer have any respect to my parents, because they don't respect me at all. I want to leave them as soon as possible and be free forever from their grip.

I haven't understood the value of living alone as an adult until I returned to my parents' home. As long as I am in my parents home, I am their dependent child. I don't have an independent life. After this experience I WILL never repeat it again without having an independent life somewhere far away from them. I started to have an intense grudge for them which isn't good for both of us.

I moved quite far away from my parents, & never looked back, many years ago. It wasn't even all their fault. It was mostly mine. In a lot of ways, they deserved a much better kid than they got. They're both long since gone now. Sometimes I wish it could have been different. But it couldn't. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do...