[pinkvilla]

I am going to my hometown this summer. Everytime I go there,I seem to have some shame inside me and try not to go out. I don't want to talk to people who I had seen growing up.
I am doing well in life compared to the people there and should be more than glad to be out and about . I feel some sadness and try to hide out at my house. I don't want to keep in touch with any of my old friends. I am not a vain person. I just feel blah when I go there. I don't feel proud as my parents do about me. They want to show me off and I'm so sad and moody whenever I'm there. I can't figure out why.

I recently returned to my hometown after many years abroad. I go out just once a week; to the Church. Sometimes once every two weeks. Partly because I am ashamed because I am not working and not doing very well in life. But also, because I am not sociable by nature, and don't like to be around people, because I would embarrass myself.

[Sunflower123]

It's almost like you have some bad feelings or shame from childhood. Could that be possible? You could work it on in therapy short term to process these feelings. Best wishes.

[Nikki O.]

I'm still living in my tiny hometown and I want OUT. I feel the same way about seeing people I went to school with. Maybe you feel nervous about seeing them again because you are a different person since the last time you saw them?

[wolfgaze]

Originally Posted by pinkvilla

I can't figure out why.

More than likely you are associating 'home' with emotions (or emotional states) from your past and which have not been fully resolved... So returning to an environment that you associate with earlier life experiences and the emotions evoked by those circumstances - well this is going to influence you to revisit and reconnect with that emotional energy. From a higher perspective - you could view the fact that you are even experiencing this as a 'reminder' that there is some inner-'work' for you to tend to, some internal 'housekeeping' which will need your attention.... The first step is fostering the awareness of why you are made to feel this way when you return home and then figuring out the connection between the emotions that surface in the present and your past history of life experiences...

[MickeyCheeky]

Perhaps when you go back there, you remember things that made you sad/angry or whatever.. basically, it's a triggering place. Could it be? What memories do you have about that place and the time you spent there?