Not sure this is the right place for this. Since about 2004 I have been taking the train to work. Since that time there was a conductor who was always on my line. Nuff said, I developed a crush. I mean, it isn't a crush so much... as I desperately seem to want him to converse with me like what for me.. is reality. The fact that I have seen him literally every day for almost 15 years. He is married (not that I have Facebook stalked him). I am just kind of desperately curious to talk with him. He is the only conductor I have ever felt like this about but also, I feel like I have never had a conductor who is always there... always.

A few years ago, I realized this "crush" was not helpful. I am not even sure that he doesn't have some sort of autism spectrum thing happening. He absolutely just gets the tickets. And never waivers while 99% of the others do. One of the things I admired but makes it so he doesn't really converse or anything. I was in the market for a new home anyway and was happy to move to a new train line. Ahhh.

But now, he has shown up on my new train line and it is frustrating me. It isn't totally unusual for that to happen as they can move them around.

And also, another weird thing I have noticed. It does really feel like god or someone is pushing us together. It isn't him, I am sure of that. But how can it be that if I am sitting in the front car, he is there. If I move to the back car, he is there. If I go in on a weekend and randomly pick a train he is on it in my car. I know he works a lot but it seems odd that I can so easily run into him. And also it seems odd and disappointing that he offers zero acceptance of the fact that he could not possibly recognize me.

I know some might say, talk to him. But I have and he gives me zero. He is polite, but, he gives me and every other passenger nothing.

It sounds frustrating. Just when you thought you were away from it, he's now on your train again, being all cute and ignoring you. Grr. I've been in that kind of situation, but it was at the health food grocery store, and while they were polite (and super cute), I couldn't deal with the frustration of nothing happening, so I just stopped going and found a different one.

Maybe find someone else to have a crush on? Idk. It could help take your mind off him. Or write poetry about it, make art. I feel your pain.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you keep running into him. If he's married and he doesn't really acknowledge you, it seems like you're destined to an unrequited crush unless you can switch your attention to someone else. Good luck and best wishes.

Maybe it's his unavailability and aloofness which makes him appealing to you? when I was very young I went through a phase of crushes on very unusual men the one thing they all had incommon was they were unavailable (in my case, unavailable = I was safe). Idk if this is relevant to you.

I'm wondering if there might be something you can learn/develop about yourself from this.

Originally Posted by prefabsprout

Maybe it's his unavailability and aloofness which makes him appealing to you?

Probably. I think what I first noticed was that he was very hard line with the passengers. I mean not in an unpolite way but firm. And you just don't find that anymore. I wouldn't say he is aloof. Just "just the facts mam" type of thing. Like Joe Friday from Dragnet (am I dating myself here?). I both admire that he always gets the tickets and also wonder if he is on some sort of autism spectrum because no one else - always gets the tickets. Does he know he is the only one who always gets the tickets? Does he care?

I forgot to mention one time he saved me from being harassed. I had lost a lot of weight and was pretty happy with myself when I went to a gym and got harassed. This was a Thursday night. Friday morning I got up and got on an off hours train and this guy was harassing me. After what had happened the night before I was ready to lose it.

I was sitting in a seat not facing whomever the conductor would be and this guy harassing me had turned toward me in a way opposite the seat. He had his legs up on the seat and turned toward me and saying things like, why don't you come here sweety. We were the only two in the car. I heard whomever the conductor was going to be come down the stairs from behind me, awknoledge my ticket, and walk over to him and smack his feet off the chair and tell him to turn around. And that was it. Of course I pretended to oblivious to the whole thing. Lost in my phone.

Now, did he know it was me? Did he care at all or was I just another passenger... was he just concerned about the seat - who knows. But yeh... that didn't help.

One reason I am not sure about him being unavailable that attracts me is that more or less ALL the conductors are. I mean they all are attractive, some more than him and just by the nature of the job they are sort of unavailable.

But I do suspect that I don't really have a crush, I mean I don't know him. I just want to get to know him for like 10 minutes.

Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton

Probably. I think what I first noticed was that he was very hard line with the passengers. I mean not in an unpolite way but firm. And you just don't find that anymore. I wouldn't say he is aloof. Just "just the facts mam" type of thing. Like Joe Friday from Dragnet (am I dating myself here?). I both admire that he always gets the tickets and also wonder if he is on some sort of autism spectrum because no one else - always gets the tickets. Does he know he is the only one who always gets the tickets? Does he care?

I forgot to mention one time he saved me from being harassed. I had lost a lot of weight and was pretty happy with myself when I went to a gym and got harassed. This was a Thursday night. Friday morning I got up and got on an off hours train and this guy was harassing me. After what had happened the night before I was ready to lose it.

I was sitting in a seat not facing whomever the conductor would be and this guy harassing me had turned toward me in a way opposite the seat. He had his legs up on the seat and turned toward me and saying things like, why don't you come here sweety. We were the only two in the car. I heard whomever the conductor was going to be come down the stairs from behind me, awknoledge my ticket, and walk over to him and smack his feet off the chair and tell him to turn around. And that was it. Of course I pretended to oblivious to the whole thing. Lost in my phone.

Now, did he know it was me? Did he care at all or was I just another passenger... was he just concerned about the seat - who knows. But yeh... that didn't help.

One reason I am not sure about him being unavailable that attracts me is that more or less ALL the conductors are. I mean they all are attractive, some more than him and just by the nature of the job they are sort of unavailable.

But I do suspect that I don't really have a crush, I mean I don't know him. I just want to get to know him for like 10 minutes.

It sounds more to me like you find him intriguing rather than a crush? Some people are just interesting and intriguing to us.

Originally Posted by prefabsprout

It sounds more to me like you find him intriguing rather than a crush? Some people are just interesting and intriguing to us.

Good word but I also want to have his babies.
No seriously kidding.

But I just want to be BFFs with him for like 2 hours.