[BlueberryDonut]

I was made to feel really embarrassed today. It was a small incident, but for some reason I always take these things to heart and just wanna cry.

I was apart of a spoonie cosplay group and I thought it was a support group so I would share my successes and stressors with the group to help gain some advice and support. However, on several occasions I was asked how did this apply to disability or cosplay and today I asked a crafting question for a sewing project I wanted to do, and because it didn't have anything to do with cosplay, it was outright deleted and the admins messaged me both and said my posts lacked relevance to cosplay and being a spoonie. I was made to feel by both messangers that because I didn't have a chronic illness (physical) that what I wasn't saying wasn't relevant. I ended up leaving the group as, while saying it was a support group, it didn't offer any support or helpfulness to its members for mental illness.

I just have a really hard time connecting with people and for some reason, no one really wants to pursue being a friend with me. And when I do make a new friend, they turn out to be abusive and toxic. I guess I'm just not an interesting person. I'm okay with having a few friends, I just wish I could make some friends at school so I would stop feeling so afraid at school.

Anyway, I know it is a small incident but I just felt really embarrassed and was kinda tipped off I was being talked about which makes me feel even more humiliated and this just added onto the fact that I was already feeling like crap.

If you can spare a few hugs, only if you want to, that would be very appreciated.

it's okay…

[MickeyCheeky]

All the hugs you want.. I understand your feelings. I struggle with making friends as well You're not alone

[Fuzzybear]

[Unrigged64072835]

[Leyla]

hi there
i am older than you but trust me i was very sensitive too at your age, still i am... when you suffer anxiety you happen to be sensitive as well. the 2 go together.... don't let what the OPS message you affect yes, i know easier said than done.

better to be your own friend than and if you can find a few who can relate to you than you are blessed.

((hugs))

[shezbut]

(((((hugs)))))) sent your way, BlueberryDonut.

I may be older than you are, but I have always struggled to make friends and not feel so self-conscious. It is *really* hard. I have always been very sensitive.

You aren't alone.

I'm the same way--and over time I've learnt to enjoy my independence. I have a few friends irl that I see or speak to once in awhile, actually just recently I got back in touch with a few and I was surprised they still cared about me. But I've found that keeping up with those few has been all I can handle. I'm thankful I don't have a ton of friends cause that would be super energy draining(It's a little different online, when I can just shut it off if I had enough). Anyway, just saying this can also be considered a blessing. Society tells us we need a bunch of people around, or that those who do are happier but that's just not the case always.

[Bill3]

[Monarch Butterfly]

Hugs

[Thunder Bow]

Looks like you were in a controlling group, rather than a support group. It is good that you left.

[HavannahShy]

I know how hard it is to adapt in an environment where no one seems to care at all. I can relate to you at times like that. But, I believe there will always be a certain person or group of people in your school that can understand you and will be eager enough to be your friend. Just hold on and just have faith. Just keep on believing in yourself and do not be afraid of exposing yourself (the true you) to the crowd. I know for sure someone will appreciate you for who you are.