[passionfruit3]

Having a particularly rough day having thoughts of suicide i wont say what I thought about to avoid triggering people but sometimes I feel I am addicted to suicide.ive been in the er at least a hundred times hospital about thirty or four for hurting, myself the hospital knows me by name.oddly I don't know why I keep doing it sometimes I feel it's an urge to harm like self harm others say it's for attention why do you think I do it do it do you think it's possible to be addicted to suicide attempts but not want to die?I know its like an oxymoron I'm just curious on your thoughts .I have borderline personality disorder schizo affective bipolar type and conversion disorder.i am often difficult to deal with hospitals have always been that way since 16 I'm 24 now I tend to only hurt myself and be stopped i even thought it was cause I don't like being held against my will unable to leave but sometimes I don't know i am fine mostly on my own but the hospital can make me crazy and I'm just curious if anyone had thoughts why I also suffered some abuse and was into bsdm I think it's called or bondage at least reading rape and bondage and abuse stories when I was 14 through 19 so was just curious if you could give me some enlightenment.

[passionfruit3]

I forgot to put my trigger

[Sunflower123]

It might be a well entrenched coping mechanism. If it is, you could work with your therapist on better coping mechanisms. Best wishes.