[lowpoint]

Am I fully responsible for the way emotions caused by others affect me? Is the way I interpret things the direct and only cause of my triggers?

This is really bugging me right now. What are your thoughts on this?

-lowpoint

[bearguardian]

In most cases others dont have intention in making you miserable. They are just being themselves and say things that may seem directly aimed at you. The universe, however rich in informations may seem, is packed into few basic nodes, and we also pack things into our own little explanations.

Of course there is always that annoying or triggering bastard you can come across and that really wants to make you miserable. And sometimes you can even learn something from that misery they cause you. But in the end, ignoring them is the best option.

I'm not sure how to answer, but we all have emotions and shouldn't feel like it's a bad thing. We shouldn't feel like having a negative emotion is wrong or our "fault."

[NeedHaldol]

You can't control what happens to you. You can only control how you react to those things.

What is your trigger?

[MickeyCheeky]

They're emotions.. it's hard to control them, so no need to feel guilty about it

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by NeedHaldol

You can't control what happens to you. You can only control how you react to those things.

What is your trigger?

I second this. You are not responsible for the emotions others bring out in you. Emotions are what they are. You are responsible for how you respond and react to how you are feeling.

[Frankbtl]

Hi lowpoint

I'd say that there are going to be lots of grey areas here.........
And part of it depends on what the person has done to trigger those emotions e.g. if someone real close to you has really betrayed you or/and your trust, if someone close has just turned their back on you when you really needed them, if someone you really care about is struggling..........are you going to hurt?? A little?? Very likely!! If you can't just flip a switch in your head e.g. reinterpret the situation or it takes time........is the hurt your fault/your responsibility that you feel that way?? I'd say No!! It's all about being human, it can be unavoidable and very understandable
In fact I'd say that it would be more concerning if you did have a switch you could just flip, just like that, in those situations..............

But I'd also say in some situations there may be different things we can do to try to help manage emotions caused by others, baring in mind these are sometimes much more easy said than done in some situations.............e.g. reinterpreting things, reassessing if things have been directed at you personally or if they are an expression of something else from the person, trying to see things more objectively, looking for a "bigger picture" in the situation, talking to someone else about the situation to get different perspectives, turning your attention in to yourself more and focusing on ensuring your well-being more instead of on them, letting the emotions out as in crying if you feel the need to cry, finding ways to let go of those emotions such as turning anger into something physical or writing it out, having a list of things that may "relieve the pressure" if you're negatively impacted such as "feel good" things or mantra's or breathing exercises..............

Just a few thoughts..........

So, I'd say be careful how much responsibility you put on yourself, but if you can do try to find things to empower you in the situation..........and if you can't.........don't forget we're here for you

Alison

[Betraid]

Originally Posted by lowpoint

Am I fully responsible for the way emotions caused by others affect me? Is the way I interpret things the direct and only cause of my triggers?

This is really bugging me right now. What are your thoughts on this?

-lowpoint

Firstly

Today I learnt (again) that I can only control what I feel and what I think. That others' opinions or thoughts, actions, I cannot do anything about.

Given that is true, and at this very moment I believe that is true. Apparently I have to work on my selftalk and things I think I can fix related to me and how I view things. That's hard stuff.

I'm not sure if I can pull that off. I have a psychologist that seems to think he can give me strategies to "alter" my interpretations and triggers so the resulting "feeling" is not as negative and devastating for me. This is yet to be seen but as I said at *this moment* I am hopeful.

I hope you feel better soon and that people around you can cut down on triggering negativity and make it easier for you to interpret things in a positive light. I hope you can find someone who is willing and has skills that can help you avoid having lowpoints.

I am standing here with you hoping you can move forward.

[lowpoint]

Thank you, guys, for all your kind words. Again, I didn't get the notifications from this.

Well, these days I've been a little off so I don't remember what happened yesterday (?) did I post this yesterday? But I'm going to try to elaborate a bit. (could be left unfinished)

First of all,

Is the way I interpret things the direct and only cause of my triggers?

I put it in those words because I feel that I am going full paranoid and getting everything wrong. When bearguardian says that "They are just being themselves and say things that may seem directly aimed at you". Yes, that's my concern. Sometimes triggers are not directly caused and our wicked perception plays a big role in decoding others' intentions.

I'm not sure how to answer, but we all have emotions and shouldn't feel like it's a bad thing. We shouldn't feel like having a negative emotion is wrong or our "fault."

I'm not sure that's my difficulting but coping with these precise emotions. Maybe I want to know if it's "my fault" understanding something as bad when it's not so I can move on and NOT deal with these emotions in the first place. Just trying to understand myself as you are because I feel really numb right now and it's like being in a completely different state of mind.

You can only control how you react to those things.

Yes, this is the answer, I guess. So it is my fault, generally speaking.

They're emotions.. it's hard to control them, so no need to feel guilty about it

I guess that's what CBT/ACT is for, then. So I can change my diseased perspective. Thanks, MickeyCheeky!

(...to be continued)
PS. Isn't "feeling numb" like an oxymoron or something? Whatever.