[AZ-FR]

I'm a very regretful person in general. I dwell on regrets for so long that it affects my productivity and right now, I'm in so much regret that I can't stop thinking about all the details of what I did that led to this regret. Because of it I start to think about other stuff too and also start to just doubt myself. I know this is irrational but I can't help it! Does anyone know how to cope with regrets better? I don't want to live with such heavy regrets all the time. I have a lot of school work to do but I'm just unable to concentrate because of this obsessive regret.

[Sunflower123]

Are these regrets anything you can go back and fix? If you can't change whatever happened then it's taking your time and energy that you need to enjoy the present or future. Is there an OCD component to this? If so, medication could help you.

If not, every single time a regret thought comes up, immediately and deliberately replace it with a positive thought or memory. This is building new neural pathways in your brain and eventually these new pathways will be stronger then the old regret pathways. Good luck and best wishes.

[continuosly blue]

I struggled with the same problem for a VERY long time.
Advice from personal expierience : Are you able to do a confession of sorts ?
Can you talk about these regrets with anybody ? A therapist ?
I wasted so much time ruminating over past mistakes etc..... Then I got this brilliant idea , the past is gone , over , done with and unchangeable. Until I was able to be in the present , in the now , I was frozen in time.
Mindfulness helped me tremendously . I started building those new neuropathways that was mentioned. That was the way out for me. Practice it every day. I thought I could NEVER stop that continuous negative " loop of the past tape ". But it is possible. I have been able to start that new way of thinking.
Actually I thought it was some kind of miracle . But I think I reached a certain point where the pain is no longer bearable. So you change or ......

[Teddy Bear]

Try to think of the future instead of the past ��. I

[MickeyCheeky]

What do you feel regretful about? I think sometimes it's healthy to substitute that thought of "I should/shouldn't have doen that.." with "What it's done, it's done. Time to move forward". Keeping an eye on the future is helpful

[Frankbtl]

Hi AZ

Well you've had some excellent answers there!!
And I'd say that sometimes it can depend on the situation/s you're looking back on or on the cause of your thinking pattern..........for instance the situations may have been anything from out of your control meaning you're regretting something/s you don't deserve to regret, up to some difficulties you may have whereas perhaps some more in depth or professional support may help..........and the causes.........I don't know, but maybe something in your experiences has caused you to be self critical or find managing situations difficult so maybe going more into addressing those things and the causes could help.............but not knowing your situation..........if you want to talk more..........

But otherwise I might suggest working on some more self compassion.........and you know, absolutely everyone is going to make mistakes...........even if they have the very best intentions people can make mistakes..........or should I say find themselves in situations whereas looking back they see they could have done things differently for better results..........but none of us have that hindsight at the time..........and carrying out the "best" course of actions can sometimes be much easier said than done.........we are only human
And you know maybe you could use some of those mistakes to empower you for the future........if you can learn something/anything at all from them then it's not futile in the least..........so more about learning experiences??

But as I said..........if you want to talk more..........we're here for you

Alison