I Hate Ghosting

Rejection is hard- but ghosting is by far the worst, most annoying, most INFURIATING form of rejection by far. It leaves you to wonder what you did wrong, what they must really think of you and what exactly happened. Even for the stupidest of reasons.

Recently this cute guy I like, out of the blue, texted me asking if he could come visit me sometime and hang out. I said yes, that sounds like fun! I sent that text maybe 15 minutes later, and immediately felt kind of awkward about using an exclamation mark. That was Wednesday, and he still hasn't responded. HE'S the one who initiated a conversation with me, and I don't understand how my response in any way warranted a red flag to run away.

Honestly, I'd rather get a brutal text back from a guy saying, "You're ugly and worthless and no man will ever love you!" than no response at all. It fills me with deep, ugly rage to be ignored for no discernable reason. It reeks of cowardice to leave someone in mystery and not be honest.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I would hate that too. It's downright rude and offensive.

I was curious if by any chance the strength of your reaction to this recent circumstance is perhaps amplified by the influence of experiences from your past?

I'm sorry to hear that you were ghosted. I can understand why you'd be infuriated! I often too give a lot of attention to phrasing, punctuation, emoji use. And it's totally disheartening, from my experience, to find yourself being "cut off" for no understandable reason being left to ponder what aspect of your conversation was a turn off. It's like trying to go to sleep, but the faucet in your bathroom has a slow and almost inaudible drip, but you do notice it. So much so that you can't take your attention off of it.

I've been ghosted by friends I'd known for almost a decade and a plethora of romantic partners. For me it's usually not infuriating, but depression inducing. In regards to romantic partners I do get ghosted frequently, but sometimes I'm given the response "I don't know" as a response to my question in regards to their change in attraction to me. It's absolutely confusing and disheartening!

I was once ghosted by a therapist! Happened when I was in elementary school. The first therapist I truly liked. I still remember her name; over 20 years later. I even painted her in a crude family portrait when I was maybe 8 or 9 years old. Then one day she was just gone. Ghost! I have no idea what happened to her.

Ghosting is pretty awful in general. But, I'm not sure getting a brutal truth or possibly even a lie(who could ever verify or disprove it?!) is any better.

I get where your coming from. I've been ghosted by someone very close to me for over 30 years. Only in a different way. She turned on me like I was a total stranger WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION ! Just stopped caring about me , wouldn't let me touch her. Said vile things to me. Wanted me to leave. She ghosted our entire relationship, while still being with me until I was able to leave. Ignored me, put me down, etc.....it was like living with your worst enemy. Hell for sure.
It must be nice to not have any feelings. Watching me suffer from physical and emotional pain and not being able to do a damn thing about it. All I said was WHY ? It was responded to with a very loud silence ! Never gave a reason. Never apologized. She used passive aggressiveness, which like you said , is COWARDICE. After being alone for awhile I begged her to take me back , out of loneliness. But it will never be right. There's always that underlying current of anger and distrust. There is no real communication or intimacy. It's all fake.
I feel like the fool times 10. Maybe this person not answering you is the best thing that could have ever happened to you.

Yes, this is an indicator that someone is not a very thoughtful or kind person IMO. I would regard it as a happy escape.

Sorry he did that to you though, it was rude and unkind, you are worth way more than that.

I think the problem is with him not you id take those as warning signs. It is a signal that there is someone better for you out there

I'm so sorry and agree with everything that everyone here has said. I've had this happen to me, utterly devastating and cruel. I feel your hurt, hoping far better for you!

I've always been ghosted. Well, not always, but very often. All my life I've been told by family members, distant relatives and even complete strangers that I'm a very attractive girl, and yet at 27 years old I've never had a relationship. No man has ever wanted me past a few awkward first dates, then sayonara. Am I not attractive enough to deserve a boyfriend? I don't understand what gives. And ghosting IS incredibly disrespectful, so I would say my emotional reaction is appropriate. I deserve attention, validation and love. I am worth a response.

Thank you for the response...

If it's any consolation - I did most of my dating in this lifetime in middle school! I've lived a rather solitary life since that time (with regards to relationships)... Earlier this year I relocated across the country. I unexpectedly ended up crossing paths with a certain individual whereby a mutual feeling of chemistry, compatibility, and comfort was shared... It was really nice, and unlike anything I had ever experienced before in this lifetime. However, this would end up being relatively short-lived due to challenges/difficulties surrounding our life circumstances and directions (i.e. living 90 miles apart, children involved from a previous marriage, and differing outlooks on having children later down the road). This just happened recently. I was left feeling a sense of loss and also confused because I can't quite understand the reason or (higher) purpose behind why this happened in our respective lives and played out the way it has... Doesn't make sense to me (yet). It's like the Universe says here, have a taste of something really nice/pleasant - then proceeds to take it away. Still trying to wrap my mind around this one...

Savor the moment. Because that's all we have. Yes life does give us a little taste
every once in awhile. Although some never even get that taste. Nothing in this universe lasts. The only question is how long is something around. And does it matter ? To me the universe is controlled chaos. So much depends on happenstance and unpredictability. Seems like we have some control , but do we really ?
The most important thing is that I don't live in the past , don't be consumed about the future , and live in the moment. The only thing I have right now is now.

I hate it, too. The ghosting person just doesn't care about you. It's not your fault. They are just a flake, a user, a shallow person.

What on earth are you talking about? Savor being rejected? Unloved? Alone? Worthless? Forever ignored??

Hi. I hope to help but I could come off as a bit harsh. You might be the most attractive woman on earth and it doesn't guarantee you find a boyfriend or a date. There is some very good truths in the advice you have been given. We don't control our lives or deserve anything to be for an absolute given to us. Many people never have a taste of what you are hoping to have. It doesn't mean you give up hope or that you need to accept something you can't accept. I do think it might help you to listen to Eckhart Tolle on YouTube. You can type in his name and whatever you'd like, possibly relationships or difficult emotions, etc. Best wishes.

I believe continuously blue was responding to what Wolfgaze said...

I'm really sorry you had a bad experience and I would echo what's already been said....is this the kind of person you would want in your life anyway?
You probably dodged a bullet.

Someone better is coming along...

I too have experienced ghosting while dating someone whom I had conversations with almost daily. When it happened I was devastated. In my case I believe the person ghosted me because I wanted to pursue the relationship further and they were unwilling to do so.