Depression!

I have thought about killing myself several times throughout my life!
Right now as of this moment the urge to hurt myself is growing uncontrollably! I have been kicked, cheated, blamed, and taken advantage of every day of my life! Mostly by my family and friends! Well, people who I thought were my friends! I have been used by two girls, and fallen completely in love with my Fiance, we have been together for 3 months. I know, feel, and see that she is the one for me! I've lost jobs to my ex, I've been talked into debt by my ex, and I have no job! I have been trying to get a job, nobody wants me! Every time I talk with my Fiance we always work things out! But her mom forced her to leave Georgia and move to California because she dropped out of school from having too much of her mom's responsibility on her head! So here we are in alameda California, and I've been here for a week, first time in cali and I spend most of the time being discriminated, dogged on, chewed on, and verbally abused by her Mom! About how I make excuses, I make no money, I will amount to nothing, I have some college but am to stupid to obtain a degree, insults my sweet family as being dumb and poor, and just walks over me and my family! I love my Fiance so much that I'm changing my life for her and dealing with her mom's disrespectful, insulting remarks towards me and my family! I still get thoughts about killing myself! Tonight, her mom said I won't become a police officer because I told her I lost two of my jobs from a hernia, she said that's an excuse and I'm not fit enough to be a police officer! You know that right there just made me want to jump out of the car and get trampled by several following cars!! Right now she is in her mom's room they were constantly mentioning the word relationship, now they are laughing and giggling and it's been 2 hours! I feel like it's all about me! Makes me want to die even more!