[Eleny]

My self esteem is so low that I feel guilty when I stand up for myself. I’ve had friends do bad things behind my back and even though I stood up to them I felt terrible after, so guilty and upset like I’d no right to do it. Has anyone else felt this way?

[jakesky]

Yeah I feel this way all the time. I'm terrible at standing up for myself and sometimes I end up apologizing when something was clearly not my fault.

It's sometimes useful to figure out where it comes from though. I know that when I was younger standing up for myself meant retaliation and being shamed by parents or others, so I quickly learned that it was "better" to just succumb to it and feel guilty about being assertive.

It's a work in progress. I suppose it's just little steps, knowing that your opinion matters and that your worth isn't inherently dictated by whether it coincides with other people's or not.

I don't have too much advice, I'm still working on it myself. But good luck.

[Thunder Bow]

Be proud of standing up for yourself. We all have to do it.

[Fuzzybear]

You have every right to stand up for yourself if “friends” do bad things to you

I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself

[Open Eyes]

It's good that you have enough self esteem that you do stand up for yourself and you are not just a push over where others learn they can walk all over you. Human beings ARE primates and tend to practice primate behaviors where they do test boundaries and compete in that if they can invade a boundary or find fault in others they can feel empowered. Human beings tend to be competitive in nature and this is very evident in all the competitive sports human beings partake in or gather to observe. Even in how we educate our young children revolves around competing in who gets the higher grade or who is the best at this or that. We actually teach the wrong way to develop what is considered "healthy self esteem" without realizing it. So, one of the things we end up producing at young ages is "stress" and "anxiety" instead of developing a personal sense of balance and pride.

[Charliebarlie]

Standing up for yourself will build self confidence.