[confidarmi]

I constantly act normal and loving but deep inside, another part of me is plotting revenge "in case" this person does me wrong. Like a different part of me is looking after the stupid loving me for being too vulnerable. I don't know what to think.

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry... I don't know either... However, if the tendency to do this is of concern to you, perhaps it might be something to delve into with the help of a counselor or therapist.

From my perspective, what this really comes down to is a question of whether you consider this to be simply a quirk or whether it's something you feel is negatively affecting you & / or your relationships. We all have little quirks of personality. Most of them aren't really a problem day-to-day. However sometimes something like this can be disruptive to the point where we need to try to figure out how to stop it... or at least work around it. You're the only person who knows which category your concern falls into.