I hate it when people invalidate my feelings

I can't stand it. People saying that my feelings don't matter. There's certain things that people say that make me feel like my feelings don't matter. Why am I not allowed to feel differently about something? I'm not gonna say what these certain things that people say are because I know some people probably wouldn't understand and it would just make me feel worse so I'm not gonna risk it. But then I guess there's no point in posting this. I'm just going to avoid those who don't understand me. I don't care how irrational my feelings might be I still want people to just listen. I don't like advice or any criticism without me asking for it. I know that sounds stupid but that's how I feel about it. I'm really sensitive to criticism and probably oversensitive to criticism. I already criticize myself enough. I get a lot of that from other people and I don't feel like I get enough support. I just want support. I just want people to tell me irl that I'm allowed to feel how I want to and support what I want to do. I know my feelings might not make any sense at times. I have a really hard time moving on from certain things but I just can't do this. I can't deal with the things in life like everyone else can. It's too hard to deal with. When people tell me to just let go of things I feel like they're saying my feelings don't matter which might not be true but that's how I see it right now. I have my own way of dealing with things. Well I don't what else to say. No matter how many words I say I'm probably the only one that's going to understand me and that just seems really lonely to me. I just can't live with that. I'm just really upset about certain people in my life and I feel like I can't move on from all the disappointment in my life. I feel really deeply about this. That's why it's so hard for me to deal with everything because I feel too deeply about everything. Sorry for being this depressing and this negative but it's too hard.

Well I'm probably just being stupid. I should quit posting anything. I can't tell if I'm being too hard on myself or not hard enough.

Hey ES--invalidation is horrible! Being told your feelings don't matter is deeply and intimately injurious. I think it's commonly acknowledged that the most hurtful part of many traumatic experiences are aftermaths in which people are made not to trust their experience or feelings about it. Just as one example, in so many of the accounts in the #metoo revelations it seems that the utter disregard of personhood is what has wounded many most deeply, and is part of why even relatively "minor" incidents must be regarded very seriously. I just wanted to reach out and validate what you said. I think any shrink or person with an emotional IQ at all would agree that invalidation is a profoundly hurtful experience. I hope you feel heard on this, and I'm sorry you've been treated so badly around this.

No need to apologize for your feelings. They are just what they are: your feelings.

Yes, the feelings are real and there is a cause for them.

Thanks everyone. I'm just depressed and lonely. Im depressed and lonely right now. It's gonna be a new year and I'm depressed and lonely. I want this year to be a good year. I hope things get better somehow. But I don't feel like they will but then again I feel like maybe they will. I don't know I'm just really lonely and feel like no one understands me.

I think you got to look at ur situation in small parts because it will make you explode. I think what is best is just to make sure ur are positive about something. Are you routinely failing? If you can get to the root of it would be a good idea. I validate feeling because I know they are mixed so I understand the worries. If that means anything to you, just know that you are not alone

ALL of your (our) feelings are valid and real. Honor them and pay attention to them; they are telling you something; never be ashamed of feelings, they are not right or wrong. Unfortunately some people are insensitive and don't understand and say ignorant unfeeling things.

Sounds as if you are an HSP...highly sensitive personality(there is a book on the subject); Iam one also; it is difficult to live (being highly sensitive) in a world where most people are INsensitive. I don't think there is a thing such as being TOO sensitive...most people are not sensitive. Learn toshare your feelings with people who are safe and will validate and understand you. If there aren't any in your life; keep your feelings to yourself, and journal...and find some friends who are like you (hard I know).

I think I definitely am a highly sensitive person and I feel really insecure about it. I feel uncomfortable talking about my feelings but I want to talk about it. What's this book you're talking about?

I am also a very sensitive person. I overthink everything I hear about me. I try to rationalize it if it's good or bad. In recent years although i seem to have changed and am not as bad. im getting older and learned I am the one who decides how good or bad of person i am.

Invalidation is horrible

Invalidation is the worst. I was recently invalidated and it is always so unhelpful. I have learned, over the years, to trust myself. But I still seek validation and comfort and support and reassurance, like any normal human being. When thats not given, and I get the opposite, it really is triggering to me. I try to stay away from invalidating people. Its hard though sometimes.

I hope you feel better soon, ExplodingSun, and know that your feelings and thoughts, are real, and they matter, and if someone has a different opinion on how you should live your life, based on their feelings and thoughts about yours, thats not right and should really be discarded.

I feel like...when its the "New Year," society, the media, businesses (capitalize on) get so excited and freaking, freaked out about "turning over a new leaf," making "this year be better than the last," really though, you just have to do you. And be you. And do the best you can with what you have.

My parents were the king and queen of diminishing anything to do with me. A short but telling example of this is when I was having a bad and my father asked me what was wrong, (like he cared), and I told him I was just aggravated. His brilliant response? "Well, you just get un-aggravated, then." That was life with my loving parents.

Some people just don't get sensitive people. It sucks. I consider myself to be a sensitive person. I have my problems and they just don't understand. I guess I'm just too sensitive. I don't know. I just wish people could've been there for me more but instead they do the exact opposite. I think that's where a lot of my problems come from. Sometimes I hold a grudge and I have a hard time letting things go. It's just really hard for me. I'm gonna try to let things go but I feel like it might be impossible for me. I just wanna be around people who make me feel better. I just wanna find the right people who make me feel at peace and not so angry and left out. I've had a really hard time in life emotionally and it sucks when people don't understand. I just want people to be there for me. Sometimes I might think or do stupid things but I want them to still try to be more understanding towards me. I don't know what else to say I just feel misunderstood. Maybe I ask too much. I try to be a good person. As much as I can at least. I'm not perfect.

I get it. I don't like it when people do that. People could try to be a little more understanding but I guess not. I'm not sure why people do that. Some people just aren't very understanding especially when you really need it.