I have these feelings of impending doom. If a specific thing happens which for me is a lot of things then I feel I will fall into despair. I don't want that to happen. I don't want something really bad to happen.

[MickeyCheeky]

What things in particular send you into despair?

Well one thing is that if I have to be alone I'd be crushed. I wouldn't feel like I would be able to go on living. I wouldn't be motivated to do anything and I'd be very depressed. I fear that I won't be understood. I fear that I'll be left out. I fear that no one will care about me. I fear that no one will be there for me when I need it the most. I'll have to go through life watching everyone else being together but I'll just be left out. That's what bothers me. I'm afraid something like that might happen and I wouldn't be able to deal with it. Another thing is that I feel like I've missed out on things which just goes back to me feeling alone. I guess it just all has to do with me feeling alone. I'm guessing it comes from times where I've felt neglected at certain times in my life and also just not feeling heard or understood. I'm not sure if I can deal with these things cause I'm weak. Everyone else is stronger than me cause they can find ways to cope with thier feelings but I have a really hard time doing that. I want to maybe find a way to move on but only certain things will work for me but if I can't do that then I feel like there's just no way I can be happy. That's how I feel about it and I feel weaker than everyone else because I think this way. I probably am weaker than everyone else. I feel so pathetic that I would just sit here pitying myself and all because I feel alone.

[MickeyCheeky]

You're stronger than you realize. You're not pathetic at all.

Do you have any hobbies to pass the time? A good way to start meeting people is to join some clubs or activities based on your interests.

Well I met up with this group on this meetup site and we went bowling. So that was pretty fun. I want to do more things like that. There aren't really a lot of groups close to me though. I don't know how else I would meet people besides that site. But I feel a little better when I go out and do something with people.