[lotusblossom19]

Okay, so it's totally fine when someone else around me is just as quiet as me if not more or handles situations the same way I do. Yet, when it comes to me, there's something wrong. Why pick me out and pick on me when you don't give anyone else a hard time and they're the same way, doing/not doing the same thing? This has happened to me on more than a few occasions with family, teachers, co-workers, etc. People will also say to me, "she/he does this and that's okay, I understand", when the behavior they are speaking of is the exact same behavior they have told me I should change. Okay, that's totally not unfair.

There are people with personalities very similar to me and people struggle with the same issues I do to an even greater extent. Nevertheless, they are shown understanding. There is nothing wrong with them. They are left alone to do as they please and they are accepted. People can clearly see we are similar, yet it's like I'm held to a different standard than everyone else around me. It's totally okay as long as it's them and not me. I don't know how else to describe what I'm trying to say. I suck at expressing myself. One thing I do know is that this has always bothered me. It's both frustrating and saddening. I'm not looking for anything in particular in posting this. It has just been on my mind lately.

[SorryShaped]

I think you're having some very normal feelings. Not everyone is treated the same as everyone else. It's the way people are. I hope you can find peace

[Thunder Bow]

Do Not let others bully you. It is all about control.

[healingme4me]

When they say these things to you, what happens? Do you apologize? Nod your head in agreement?

Learning to detach isn't easy. The inner peace that comes as a result of working towards that goal is worth it.

[wolfgaze]

Have you ever spoken up and defended yourself when these types of circumstances have arisen?

[shezbut]

Are you saying that you feel as though you are being made an example out of, or that you are being treated unfairly in catching the attention of teachers?

Sorry ~ I just couldn't make it out.

First situation: I can relate if that's your case. Teachers often pointed me out as they put others down in class. "Why can't you behave, like Shezbut?" It was humiliating & I hated the attention! You can bet that it wasn't real positive attention either.

Second situation: I agree with SorryShaped. It does stink...but not everyone is treated the same. I have seen many people try to defend themselves in these cases, and it hasn't ever worked. Teachers then use their power and send the student to administration for "talking back".

Maybe accepting the teacher's words in that moment is right & then talk with them after class about how you feel as though you're being treated unfairly?

I wish you the best...

[lotusblossom19]

Yeah, I have tried to speak up at times, but to no avail in most cases. There are times when I have been outnumbered and the other person had allies on their side to back them up while no one was really in my corner. I have brought to their attention that the treatment was unfair and been met with denial as well as dismissal. I have made an effort, though. It doesn't come naturally to me to be confrontational and I risk crying when really frustrated or angry. I've tried to be firm in my statements without allowing the person to take me out of my character. Anyway, thanks a lot for the replies.

[Brokenfoxy87]

Help me I'm feeling so alone right now

[wolfgaze]

Originally Posted by lotusblossom19

Yeah, I have tried to speak up at times, but to no avail in most cases. There are times when I have been outnumbered and the other person had allies on their side to back them up while no one was really in my corner. I have brought to their attention that the treatment was unfair and been met with denial as well as dismissal. I have made an effort, though. It doesn't come naturally to me to be confrontational and I risk crying when really frustrated or angry. I've tried to be firm in my statements without allowing the person to take me out of my character. Anyway, thanks a lot for the replies.

Did a similar dynamic ever play out during your childhood? Perhaps at home?

[MickeyCheeky]

[lotusblossom19]

Originally Posted by wolfgaze

Did a similar dynamic ever play out during your childhood? Perhaps at home?

Yes. My siblings had it easier growing up than me. My parents have always been afraid to anger one of them and therefore let a whole lot of disrespectful behavior slide. If I were to act the same way, it would have been a whole different story. They'll never admit it, though. I've already tried to have that conversation several times, believe me.

[wolfgaze]

Originally Posted by lotusblossom19

Yes. My siblings had it easier growing up than me. My parents have always been afraid to anger one of them and therefore let a whole lot of disrespectful behavior slide. If I were to act the same way, it would have been a whole different story. They'll never admit it, though. I've already tried to have that conversation several times, believe me.

This is what you need to focus on...

The effects of the unresolved emotional wounding from your childhood are influencing you to experience similar circumstances/situations as an adult... I'm confident you will find that when you ultimately heal whatever emotional wounds you are harboring that are tied to this dynamic, you will then no longer find yourself experiencing the types of circumstances/situations that you are reporting now.

[avlady]

Brokenfoxy are you ok? I get lonely alot, don't know who to turn to, i have not enough available friends, they work, no time for me. i hope you feel better!!

[Ljj7000]

Originally Posted by lotusblossom19

Okay, so it's totally fine when someone else around me is just as quiet as me if not more or handles situations the same way I do. Yet, when it comes to me, there's something wrong. Why pick me out and pick on me when you don't give anyone else a hard time and they're the same way, doing/not doing the same thing? This has happened to me on more than a few occasions with family, teachers, co-workers, etc. People will also say to me, "she/he does this and that's okay, I understand", when the behavior they are speaking of is the exact same behavior they have told me I should change. Okay, that's totally not unfair.

There are people with personalities very similar to me and people struggle with the same issues I do to an even greater extent. Nevertheless, they are shown understanding. There is nothing wrong with them. They are left alone to do as they please and they are accepted. People can clearly see we are similar, yet it's like I'm held to a different standard than everyone else around me. It's totally okay as long as it's them and not me. I don't know how else to describe what I'm trying to say. I suck at expressing myself. One thing I do know is that this has always bothered me. It's both frustrating and saddening. I'm not looking for anything in particular in posting this. It has just been on my mind lately.

STORY OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!

I feel like I'm in the same damn boat when it comes to this nonsense.

I can relate to you on so many levels. I've had people critique my personality and the thing that are "wrong" with me. But I don't see other people receiving the same criticism.

I've had a couple of people tell me that I don't smile but I see others who don't smile much and they don't get any kind of "backlash" for it. Just me.

Just know that I can relate to you and I hope this helps you feel better.

I felt so much better knowing that I'm not the only one who deals with this.