I can't let go of built up resentment caused by constructive criticism.

I have a very hard time letting go of resentment towards a very close friend of mine. I have been told by him that on numerous occasions that I am negative, I complain a lot, I am not happy, I don't show that I care, etc.. He has told me he does not want to be around me anymore and I don't blame him. I am in a vicious cycle of resenting him for giving me constructive criticism, but I know they are true. Instead of doubling down and working on myself, I sulk and get mad and upset with him for bringing it up and that prevents me from being the friend I should be. From being happy with myself. I am always angry and I can't seem to let it go.

If you're acting that way because you're depressed, it's not your fault. You can try to heal, but your friend should be a little more understanding...

Is this the same friend you're living with?

Accusations means he wants to control you. Also he wants something from you. Best to tell him to stop doing it.

Yes, it is.

It doesn't sound like constructive criticism. It just sounds like criticism.

I just want to point out that based on your other thread, your friendship is complicated by the fact that you're relying on him for a place to stay in exchange for running errands. You're living together, and you're in his space. You've mentioned before that you have a hard time listening, understanding and communicating with him, which I'm sure adds to the frustration and resentment.

You've been friends for quite a long time. He saw you were unhappy and gave you a place to stay so you can sort yourself out. But because you guys didnt set boundaries it appears he is becoming frustrated and I believe his criticisms point to a much larger issue with that being the unhealthy dynamic and dependency that has developed.

He is being highly critical in a way that reminds me of a parent criticizing their child, and I'm not surprised because you've both established a dynamic where he has to take care of you in some way.

You really need to get out of this situation. Have you been able to acquire another means of income?

In the meantime perhaps writing a letter or something to that effect might help explain how you feel. I only suggest because you seem to convey your thoughts effectively on the forum. You can read it out loud to him.

That’s not constructive criticism it’s abuse. It’s all about him. “You are not showing him you care.” Blah blah blah. Doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship.

I agree with the others, that is pure critisism and its causing you harm, at the end you feel guilty because you seem depressed, but sometimes people expect something from us without knowing whats going on in our heads or how we feel. You have to get away or be clear an tell how this makes you feel, is hard, but if you dont take it to an end thid could make you even more depressed, i hope you get better

I can relate to this a lot. A person could try to give me constructive criticism but I always take it the wrong way. Then I felt guilty for getting mad about it when I know I should try to improve myself.

I struggle with resentment as well. I'm still learning how to let go of it.

It seems to me like you're upset from a perceived lack of compassion, no?

If all he did was criticize you and didn't show any sensitivity, I can understand why you might feel that way.

Spot on!

I am unfamiliar with the complexities of the situation but the above response seems to follow exactly my own train of thought and really puts a finger on the problem.

I want to clarify what exactly you are doing to contribute equally to the living situation. If you cannot financially pay your way there are other manners to do so. Cleaning and cooking being only a few.

Is it that this friend has grown not just resentful but plain tired?

Establish those ground rules you have failed to to so already. Establish the boundaries, and step up to the plate. Do what you can to garner appreciation from this friend.