[NeedHelp104]

Almost daily, I wake up in the morning automatically with my heart racing---many times for unknown reasons. It is such a challenge to deal with. Although I refuse to increase the dosage of my antidepressant medication, I strive to change my thoughts because I do not want pharmacological therapy to shield my thoughts from me. I want to try to conquer this without medication I want to discover why I am still anxious, and most of it is due to fear. I am afraid of rejection, failure, among other things. Almost every minute I have some sort of worry. The SSRI I was prescribed one year ago completely cured me, but slowly it came back and failed remission. It is absolutely not as severe, and is manageable; however, I wish I did not have to deal with this (like many other users on here).

I want to see a therapist. I want help. But.... It will show up on my records and I fear employers will not want to hire me to do it. I am afraid insurance companies may discriminate me and not want to cover me due to classifying some forms of mental illness as 'pre-existing conditions'.

I am 21-years old. I have a 3.95 college GPA...But, my life is not fulfilled. Intellectually, I am fulfilled: learning is my passion. However, outside of academics I do not have other aspirations or endeavors I am involved in. I don't even know what to do with my time. I have thoughts of going to the gym, but that setting makes me anxious within itself. I am afraid of making mistakes, or other gym members judging me. I am not trying to classify this as a pity party, but it seriously seems as though my mind is working against me in terms of social interaction and going out to enjoy life.

I have thoughts of hopelessness, regret, failure, almost every single day. I have tried to cope on my own with self-help books, and other outside material, but it is not as effective as I wanted it have been.

I really want to see a therapist, but because I am on my parent's insurance plan they often discouraged it because how I may be discriminated against in the workforce. They do think I am happy and illness-free now, but I have lied to them. I do not want to reveal to them my struggles, I just don't know why I don't want to open up. Maybe I am ashamed of it. I think I want to show them I am 'strong', without revealing them my struggles and inner-demons.

[mote.of.soul]

Hi NeedHelp104. I'm not a doctor at all, but the symptoms you've outlined, thoughts, emotions, etc., sound like generalized social anxiety to me. Yes, it's all there. Of course, that's just my opinion. As for how to overcome it, well, I don't personally have the answer to that, but I'm sure people can and do overcome it and also you're definitely heading in the right direction. Hang in there, keep plugging away and stay hopeful. You're on the right track.

[Maven]

Unfortunately, there's no cure for mental illnesses, only treatment. Employers can't ask about your mental or physical health, I don't think, and those records are confidential. Things in your diet, like caffeine and sugar, may contribute to your anxiety. You might look into seeing a naturopath, if you can afford it, and want to avoid medications.

[NeedHelp104]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

Hi NeedHelp104. I'm not a doctor at all, but the symptoms you've outlined, thoughts, emotions, etc., sound like generalized social anxiety to me. Yes, it's all there. Of course, that's just my opinion. As for how to overcome it, well, I don't personally have the answer to that, but I'm sure people can and do overcome it and also you're definitely heading in the right direction. Hang in there, keep plugging away and stay hopeful. You're on the right track.

Thank you very much for your response. I have one question: can I pay out-of-pocket for counseling sessions without reimbursement from my insurance company? I'd prefer to do that. I do not want my parents or certainly my insurance company to discover this. I want this strictly for myself.

[mote.of.soul]

Originally Posted by NeedHelp104

Thank you very much for your response. I have one question: can I pay out-of-pocket for counseling sessions without reimbursement from my insurance company? I'd prefer to do that. I do not want my parents or certainly my insurance company to discover this. I want this strictly for myself.

Very welcome. I don't actually live in, or know anything about the medical care and health insurance systems you have in the U.S., so I can't answer that question, sorry. But I do understand why you'd want to keep it confidential, sure. Hopefully someone will come along soon to answer your question...

[nicoleflynn]

Iam not sure how your workplace would discriminate if they knew you were seeing a therapist. Yes, you can pay out-of-pocket. There is no point in continuing to suffer...I hope you will see a therapist......call a few therapists and interview them over the phone, in order to find someone who can help you with your issues. Don't let your fear keep you stuck and suffering.