[Marylin]

I have started therapy.I am having some distressing memories to deal with and the emotions are difficult to deal with.Shame mainly,embarrassment,their is one issue when I had a crush on a lad when I was much younger that I am finding particularly embarrassing.I feel if I can share it with my therapist it might help me be more willing to start dating again...I don't think I can go into the detail I want to verbally in person,so I am going to write out what happened on paper and then use that to prompt me when I tell her what happened.I know this is important cos I get emotional memories of shame and embarrassment when it comes up,like I am reliving the bullying and being ostrasised and rejected.

The shame is the biggest hurt I have been shamed and rejected for many reasons in my life,cos I was fat,cos I wasn't sexually experienced, cos I had strong views on female equality,my political views weren't accepted,like it was assumed I was of one political persuasion when I wasn't I was another and I was labelled and not accepted.I felt shame about all these things.Also my parents were strict christians and perfectionists and expected me to be perfect and obedient sticking to their rules and accepting their power over me is all that was important to them.

[possum220]

Starting therapy is hard because it stirs up all this muck from the past. Stuff that we often wish would stay buried. Writing things out is helping in getting things out into the open. Hope you have a good therapist and one that you are able to connect with.

[Deejay14]

Hi Marylin,
Hope your therapy went well👍