[hour_glass]

Last night I made the terrible, stupid decision to pass a semi truck on a two-lane road, so I was driving towards oncoming traffic. There was a car coming. Instead of backing out of the pass and returning to behind the truck I stupidly gunned it and just barely made it back into my lane without hitting the car. It flashed its lights at me, and the truck honked. I don't blame them. I can't believe how stupid I was. I immediately regretted it, but was such an idiot that I didn't correct myself and play it safe. My heart was racing and I found myself trembling like crazy. I actually took a different route after that because I wanted to get away from the other cars. What messes with my mind the most is that I could have killed someone. I could have died too but what's worse is that I made a dumb choice that would have ended someone else's life. That person was probably terrified. I caused that.
I went home and cried, and am crying again today about it. If I could get one replay in life I would change this moment. I have never done something this reckless in my driving before and it actually makes me not want to drive. It's also making my depression so much worse and I want to isolate myself from the world. I feel like such a danger, and then I'm also scared that something will trigger me to flashback to that moment and I'll have a panic attack. I know that what happened, happened and I can't change it, but I can't live with all this guilt.

[MickeyCheeky]

It was a mistake. You did not do it on purpose and, thank God, no one got hurt. You can only try to be more careful next time. Remember that we learn from our mistakes

Do you have a therapist?

It was a mistake, all yuo can do now is learn from it, I'm glad nobody got hurt

[hour_glass]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

It was a mistake. You did not do it on purpose and, thank God, no one got hurt. You can only try to be more careful next time. Remember that we learn from our mistakes

Do you have a therapist?

I don't. I have my primary doctor, but its not the same. What makes it worse is I lost my prescription bottle of Fluoxetine so I've been going without it for a couple days. And I am trying to tell myself it was just a mistake, but I think because it was such a bad mistake that could have killed someone, my emotions hit me harder.

[luvyrself]

Originally Posted by hour_glass

I don't. I haven accident my primary doctor, but its not the same. What makes it worse is I lost my prescription bottle of Fluoxetine so I've been going without it for a couple days. And I am trying to tell myself it was just a mistake, but I think because it was such a bad mistake that could have killed someone, my emotions hit me harder.

——-glad u decided to think about this. Were you off your medication before this happened? Definitely a no no. You need a psychiatrist and preferably a talk therapist as well. Going to an internist for psych meds is like an accident waiting to happen-literally in this case. Take note, make changes and forgive yourself . In fact, give yrself a little treat if you have acted on this. Hugs!

[*Laurie*]

Oh, wow...every driver who ever drove makes that occasional mistake. Hopefully, no one is hurt when we make those mistakes. And hopefully, we learn from them, which you clearly have. My opinion is that now is the time to let the mistake go. That you're ruminating about it is so indicative of depression. Please take your medication. Your doctor prescribed it for a reason.

[Hobbit House]

As someone who drove semi-trucks for years, I have seen it happen time and again. We don’t hold grudges about it. If we did we would be constantly upset. We understand that we are not The fastest things in the world. Just learn from it and be more aware. Sorry about the scare. Like You said it could have been worse. Good luck.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by hour_glass

Last night I made the terrible, stupid decision to pass a semi truck on a two-lane road, so I was driving towards oncoming traffic. There was a car coming. Instead of backing out of the pass and returning to behind the truck I stupidly gunned it and just barely made it back into my lane without hitting the car. It flashed its lights at me, and the truck honked. I don't blame them. I can't believe how stupid I was. I immediately regretted it, but was such an idiot that I didn't correct myself and play it safe. My heart was racing and I found myself trembling like crazy. I actually took a different route after that because I wanted to get away from the other cars. What messes with my mind the most is that I could have killed someone. I could have died too but what's worse is that I made a dumb choice that would have ended someone else's life. That person was probably terrified. I caused that.
I went home and cried, and am crying again today about it. If I could get one replay in life I would change this moment. I have never done something this reckless in my driving before and it actually makes me not want to drive. It's also making my depression so much worse and I want to isolate myself from the world. I feel like such a danger, and then I'm also scared that something will trigger me to flashback to that moment and I'll have a panic attack. I know that what happened, happened and I can't change it, but I can't live with all this guilt.

It was a mistake. Something that you didn't do intentionally but a bad choice in what you thought was right thing to do at that moment. It happens we all done something in driving we wish we hadn't done. All we can really do is learn from the mistakes.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

It was a mistake. You did not do it on purpose and, thank God, no one got hurt. You can only try to be more careful next time. Remember that we learn from our mistakes

Do you have a therapist?

I completely agree!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by hour_glass

Last night I made the terrible, stupid decision to pass a semi truck on a two-lane road, so I was driving towards oncoming traffic. There was a car coming. Instead of backing out of the pass and returning to behind the truck I stupidly gunned it and just barely made it back into my lane without hitting the car. It flashed its lights at me, and the truck honked. I don't blame them. I can't believe how stupid I was. I immediately regretted it, but was such an idiot that I didn't correct myself and play it safe. My heart was racing and I found myself trembling like crazy. I actually took a different route after that because I wanted to get away from the other cars. What messes with my mind the most is that I could have killed someone. I could have died too but what's worse is that I made a dumb choice that would have ended someone else's life. That person was probably terrified. I caused that.
I went home and cried, and am crying again today about it. If I could get one replay in life I would change this moment. I have never done something this reckless in my driving before and it actually makes me not want to drive. It's also making my depression so much worse and I want to isolate myself from the world. I feel like such a danger, and then I'm also scared that something will trigger me to flashback to that moment and I'll have a panic attack. I know that what happened, happened and I can't change it, but I can't live with all this guilt.

I wonder if it possible that you just scared yourself really bad?! I done it myself!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

It was a mistake. You did not do it on purpose and, thank God, no one got hurt. You can only try to be more careful next time. Remember that we learn from our mistakes

Do you have a therapist?

I completely agree! Sometimes just talking about it can help.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by hour_glass

I don't. I have my primary doctor, but its not the same. What makes it worse is I lost my prescription bottle of Fluoxetine so I've been going without it for a couple days. And I am trying to tell myself it was just a mistake, but I think because it was such a bad mistake that could have killed someone, my emotions hit me harder.

I think it just a normal reaction of what could have happened.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

Oh, wow...every driver who ever drove makes that occasional mistake. Hopefully, no one is hurt when we make those mistakes. And hopefully, we learn from them, which you clearly have. My opinion is that now is the time to let the mistake go. That you're ruminating about it is so indicative of depression. Please take your medication. Your doctor prescribed it for a reason.

I agree! I seen my siblings drive reckless on purpose and heard my parent themselves day they had to drive reckless to prevent a car accident.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Hobbit House

As someone who drove semi-trucks for years, I have seen it happen time and again. We don’t hold grudges about it. If we did we would be constantly upset. We understand that we are not The fastest things in the world. Just learn from it and be more aware. Sorry about the scare. Like You said it could have been worse. Good luck.

I completely agree! I actually interview a truck driver and was informed sometimes things happen and the other driver are force to be reckless but no intentional as a truck driver and just driving in their own personal vehicle