[it'sgrowtime]

My husband has been in a mental health center since I took him to the ER last Monday. I don’t know when he’ll be home. Trying not to worry about the financial component, but I do have children and I need to make financial adjustments somehow since he is not working. Don’t know what the future brings of course, and I am frightened that he could complete suicide. He needs trauma counseling. I know it’s a very dangerous walk but I hope the worst is behind him.

I’m heartbroken. Hopeful but heartbroken. I’ve had to be educated about suicide because I felt like a failure as a wife for a minute that my husband wanted to leave this life and wouldn’t have even said goodbye. Felt like a failure that I didn’t force him to get more help sooner. Felt like a failure for expressing my stress to him meanwhile he was having a breakdown and downward spiral and I didn’t realize he was flirting with death.

Struggling some with my past. My father attempted suicide several times when I was a teen. I visited him in mental health facility. My life was nothing but his tortured walk. I had no control. He had an affair with his therapist, abused his medication, drank alcohol constantly. He tried to stab my mom and he went to the hospital again, and then he didn’t come home after that. He had an apartment and would call me wasted and beg me to come be with him...would tell me I was the only reason he was still alive. I had no help no support at all. He drank himself to death by forty six.

I’m isolating. I’ve reached out to a couple friends, but am avoiding anyone else. Just trying to do the basics at home and keep a positive calm attitude. Being a good support and model for my two kids. Focusing on basic needs, chores. Working on completing my art creation before husband gets home.

I feel myself coping. I’m aware that my mind is trying to find solutions to my fear, broken heart, and confusion. I’m simplifying life as much as possible, and living day to day. Im also defining myself and what makes me happy and proud. Developing more “me.” I think that’s because I lost me in the past. I was nothing but collateral damage and a voiceless passenger on someone else’s rollercoaster. I developed boundaries this last two years, so I think I will be okay.

I don’t want to lose my husband.

[Nammu]

[Taylor27]

[MickeyCheeky]

You're trying your best, and that's really all you can do.

[Bill3]

(((((it'sgrowtime)))))

The uncertainty and fear and worry must weigh so heavily upon you right now.



Good job using your coping skills. Good job developing them over the past two years, so that they can help you now.