How Common is it to Intentionally Misunderstand?

A recurring frustration for me is when people tell me what I'm thinking and/or why I'm doing something.

The most recent occurrence happened when someone told me my views on free will. I kept my cool and told them what my views really were, but it was even more frustrating in that it was in a group discussion, and it took me a while to be able to bring up the topic again.

Does anyone else notice this happening? I think it just brings up bad memories of being bullied when I was younger.

I think the best solution is just to practice equanimity and correct the perception, if possible.

Sometimes the person may even be correct... like if someone were to comment, "You really don't have a problem with same-sex marriage, do you?" But the tone suggests they are making a judgment. If I don't have much respect for the person, I tend not to make a scene- and I would probably write about the situation in my journal.

And sometimes I don't have a chance to correct the perception. That feels painful. The best solution I've found in those cases is to write about it later.

Has anyone else had experiences like those I mentioned above? How do you deal with it?

I think it’s quite common. Why some people do this is complicated and can be based on their past, issues etc...

Or that person is being a jerk and unwilling to listen to you.

I’m really trying to ignore a lot of what people say. Otherwise, I will debate and I will want to have the last word. I think it’s best to take a deep breath and kindly ignore the annoying stuff like that.

My ex would tell me how I felt/what I thought/who I was all the time. Apparently, it isn't uncommon. My (previously our) therapist said in his case it was part of co-dependence.

It feels like you're just someone's puppet...I know how you feel. Hopefully, it's not all the time and from people you're close to.