Nothing to live for

Nobody knows what to do to help me and no ones cares.

I don't know what to do with my life. I'm back at square one. I was going to do a college prep course to study for the tabe test so I can get into trade school for office. But my therapist doesn't understand this, bc I've already been to college ( a long time ago) and I will have to drop out of DBT group to do it, which is helpful I guess. I honestly don't want to do the program anyway, the college prep.

I'm sick of dating these pieces of **** online. I'm done with dating right now. It's making me sick. "so what do you do. so what do you do? so what do you do" it's all they want to know pieces of ****ing donkey balls. Who the mother****ing **** cares what I do. It's not my identity. **** you.

A residential worker came over today and told me their schedule was changed and she is now my primary worker, instead of someone I like working with, and have been working with. No. Just no. I hate this program. I don't want her to be my primary worker. She talks too much. She tells me to clean my apt. like she's so much better. She's odd and weird.Please don't ask about why I'm in the program. It's no one's business. They randomly change things and I hate that there's no communication. I'm complaining on Monday.

I do not feel like I have a reason to live right now. My life is ****. I go to bed most nights feeling lonely as ****. Nobody helps me. I can't even help me. I'm sick of dealing with these issues.

I wish I had comforting words for you... all I can offer right now are hugs. I don't have the answers, but I care what happens to you and how you feel. I hope this feeling passes for you. Perhaps you're just having a rough spot. Perhaps you'll feel differently about the college prep course in a few days. Hang in there and hold on.... it's just a rough time right now. (((((Hugs))))))))

((((((((( hugs )))))))))

I'm so sorry you're struggling, KnitChick Please don't give up. You have so much more to give to the world. You have something to live for. You never know how things turn out... they can get better. They will get better eventually, if you don't give up. I know it seems hard to believe right now, but trust me. Please don't be so hard on yourself. It's ok to struggle with life sometimes, and it's also ok to vent when that happens. If it can help a bit... we're here for you. Feel free to share and vent here. We'll listen to what you have to say. We care about you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

Thanks everyone. It's definitely a rough patch. This was mainly a vent. But I know I put some serious things in there. I was so angry and sad and upset and stressed.

My problems are not gone. But my horrible feelings about them have passed for now.

Thanks.

I'm prob not going to be much help in saying this, but truer words haven't been spoken

I would rather talk about my passions and interests rather than boring *** work. I hate working with a passion. My only motive for going to school to learn web development is so I can build my own monetized websites or dropshipping stores that make money on autopilot so I don't have to work more than 10-20 hours per week so I can spend the rest of my time having fun. In a few years, I'm planning on being the next Tim Ferris where I have a 4 hour work week. Normal jobs are downright triggering for me and being forced to work 40+ hours per week in general feels like torture to me.

So yeah, I understand where you're coming from with this. About the only practical thing I can think of is to find meetups with people that share your interests so you can talk about stuff that interests you.

Thanks Darkness. Meet ups are a good idea. I just need to get myself to go to them. Lately its been hard getting myself to do stuff. I may be experiencing somewhat of a depression and be in denial about it (about depression). I'm not sure. I felt better earlier, so it seems to come and go.

Today was somewhat stressful in some parts. But I also got some solace about the residential thing. And I went to meditation group, which was really nice. I am just doing my best and that's enough today. I have therapy again, tomorrow, and I'm glad because I need to talk.

Sending many hugs to you

I care and I think most if not all people on this board care. You are so not alone in these thoughts, feelings and experiences. Let them out here if you need, this is a safe place and we are all hear for you!!!

Love and hugs to you.