[TwilightWoods007]

Our family dog passed away last year, her illness was very sudden and we did not see it coming. She went from doing everything and anything to not being able to move.

It has been 10 months since she passed but I have had a very difficult time dealing her death. We do have another pet but she was different and special. I have random thoughts about her during the day, and I see things that remind me of her at the store, parks, etc. I often find myself apologizing to her that I was not able to give her more attention when I had to go to work, or I would pretend to be taking a nap after work because I was so physically tired I didn't want to get up, or when I got tired of scratching her because we had just spoiled her so much that she constantly wanted to be pet.

I also often feel anger and animosity towards God because sometimes I see other pets that grew up with her or played with her and are thriving in their health and running around and she was taken away so soon. I feel guilty for being angry and I don't wish anything against them but I feel mad that she was taken away in such a sudden manner and didn't deserve it. She was so pure and angelic and such a blessing for me.

Its just very hard for me and I often tear up at the smallest things that remind me of her, I just feel like its wound that is not going to close up. I have stopped going some places where we would go often because I just cannot deal with the pain.

I just wish she knew that I will always be there for her no matter what and that she is not alone and should not feel alone. I just think about the moments where I should have given her the extra scratch or taken her for that extra walk even if I was too tired, just feel very guilty sometimes. I just want her to know that I really love her and that I am not going to let anything happen to her and always be with her in spirit.

[healingme4me]

I'm so sorry for you loss. Grieving happens differently for everyone.
One of the most poignant things that I ever remember learning in a religious ed class, at a Catholic High School is that it's ok to argue with God. Not tossing this out there for some type of theoretical debate but because it actually lifted a weight off my shoulders at a time that I needed a weight lifted. Some biblical passages were actually used from the Old Testament and it has Judaic roots.

we also had a family dog called roxy

I remember when she died, it was absolutely heartbreaking

the vet called my mother and told her basically that the dog wasn't responding and probably wouldn't come home

later she called back and said the dog had passed away.

I remember for days after, I actually carried the gate with me (we had a gate we put up so she couldn't leave the kitchen on her own and cause chaos)

I'd also ask at random moments how's roxy?

though I knew full well roxy wasn't with us. it was just a comfort to ask that

I believe where ever she is now, she is playing happily with other dogs in doggy heaven and smiling down on me as if to say, I'm happy, please don't cry

and I'm sure your dog knows too. I am sure your dog is up their having fun, and free from pain

I am so sorry for your loss

I am so very very sorry for your loss. Dogs are our family. They give us such unconditional love. Your grief is completely understandably. I hope you find peace.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry for your loss of your family dog, TwilightWoods007 I understand what you mean. It's certainly very painful to lose someone we love. Take all the time you need to grieve this loss and to heal. It will take time and it won't be easy, but you CAN do this! Take all the time you need. Just take it one step at the time. Take baby steps. No need to hurry. I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. You've been given a lot of great, wise advice on this thread. I'd suggest to follow it if you can and want. I'm sure your dog is watching you from up there, smiling at you alongside God, and I'm sure both him and Him would want you to smile and be happy! If you keep him in your memory, he will always be alive. I hope things will get better soon for you. i'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this! Please don't give up! Try to hang on! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, TwilightWoods007! Please don't give up! You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! I believe in you! We all believe in you! Try to hang on! I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. You don't deserve to suffer at all. Nobody deserves to suffer

[Skeezyks]

Hello TwilightWoods: Thank you for sharing your grief here on PC. I see this is your first post. Welcome to Psych Central. One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the grief & loss forum. Here's a link to that one:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/grief-and-loss/

You might also like to check out the pets sub-forum:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/our-pets/

And then here are links to 3 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of pet loss, the first by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D. Dr. Grohol's article also provides links to additional articles on the subject:

Losing a Pet Can Be Just as Hard as Losing a Loved One

15 Myths About Pet Loss

Grieving a Pet is Real | Strategies to Live and Thrive

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.