But I definitely feel trapped and I don't know what to do about any of it.

1. I hate my job. What I hate most about my job is the realization that even though I have a great boss, I now know I hate the job itself. Last week I had a busy week... this was my first of a certain type of thing with my new boss...and the same stuff that used to bother me with my old boss occurred. It has to be an institutional thing. I was both rushed and yet, things took forever. I put in an application for another job this week, but the last time I got called for an interview I had to withdraw because I couldn't get the day off. I can never get the day off.

2. I hate my house. When I bought my house in 2014 I really had big plans for it. It was substantially bigger than my old place. 1500 square foot at opposed to 500 square foot. But I am starting to feel like a slave to the house. It takes a long time to clean. There are parts of it I don't even use. And there is so so much to keep on top of. I feel like I spend at least 2 days each month just keeping up with the house. And as I have mentioned i am on the Board of trustees of the condo and I am so miserable. I feel like I do all the work and have no say. This week I was furious to be faced with making a major decision about the condo with no assistance from my 4 other board members because they all were on vacation!! I want to move but remember how expensive it was and feel like that would be a mistake. Would another place just make me feel the same?

3. I hate my body. I just don't know what to do about my body. I have been dieting since I was 17 and they have all failed. Finally I decided to give up dieting but that has made me gain weight and also, kind of sick. So I have to go back on it but I just don't have the discipline anymore. And I just don't know what to do.

4. I hate my friends. Ha, what friends. I thought I had a friend but I think I mentioned she got a new job. She offered to do work for me. So since I was crazy busy this week I asked her to do a little work.. I mean a little. I could not believe it when she did it but reprimanded me on not making it easier for her. Err what? Unbelievable. She is not my friend. Also this week I made friends with someone... she told me that she was happy to work with me as we clicked. I believe she was genuine. But my heart kind of sank. I always have this happen. I am a very interesting and kind person. I like to make people feel comfortable. And they like me. And then, eventually they get sick of me. Usually when I want a little ROI. So I kind of felt nauseated for a moment like, oh I bet you like me... but what good is that.

I have no friends.. I have no life.. I am fat, I hate my house and my job.

I just don't know how to change any of it. I can make friends but whenever I want them to do something for me... they are turned off. So what is the point of making friends?

[MickeyCheeky]

That's a lot to go through, Emily, and I'm so sorry that you're feeling so bad I understand it's hard. First I want you to know that I'm here for you and I'm sure many others are as well. Please feel free to PM me anytime if you need support. I believe you can work through these issues by taking it one step at the time. In fact it seems to me like you're already taking those steps. You're trying to apply for a new job and trying to make some new friends. Not to mention it seems like your mind already knows what to do in regards to your house and your body. The hardest part is the beginning. However once you begin I'm sure it will get easier and easier. Try to keep a journal and to do something to improve yourself each day. It can even be something very simple, such as speaking to some new people or something like that. Keep working on what you feel like needs adjusting in your life. Keep applying for new jobs if you can. Look for some new houses that may be not too expensive for you and decide if it's worth it. Try to meet new people. Perhaps you can even start to see a nutritionist. I'm sure you already know what you need to do. Just try to begin from one of these things. Then try to do something else. Hopefully that will make it easier. I'm so sorry you're not feeling supported right now. We're here for you. You can PM me anytime. I'm sure others will be available as well. Most importantly, though, please love yourself. You are important and you matter. You deserve a good life and you deserve good things coming your way. That's the most important thing that you can. If you still feel like ALL of this may not be enough for you, perhaps you may want to talk to a therapist about ALL of this, although I remember you saying that you don't really like the idea if I recall correctly. Don't worry, I won't argue your decision. Just be kind to yourself, ok? You're in my thoughts and prayers. Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, Emily Fox Seaton, and to ALL the people you love and who love you!

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

That's a lot to go through, Emily, and I'm so sorry that you're feeling so bad :

Thank you Mickey! And I know.. maybe some people would be like... what are you complaining about... but I just feel like I am trapped.

I just am not sure what to do about anything.

I just feel like I need 6 months off just to regroup. But it is impossible to do so.

[lady411]

The best thing I heard about your whole situation is that you hate you life “at the moment”. That says to me that you know it’s only temporary. Your life will get better and then you will love it. It’s just going to take some changes. Best of wishes and prayers to you.