[Alfredisacat]

Hi..
Where do I begin?

Possible trigger:

About 2 months ago I was raped. I don't remember everything. I was drunk and drugged. Everything happened quick and I had woke up in pain the next morning. I went with this guy...desperate for money I quit my job. And. I needed cash badly. I was alone and scared. I just followed along. I remember the pain my complaints and he refused to stop no matter what I said or did. I remembered nothing really. I had met him a year ago he gave me a ride and I had bad gut feelings. But I needed money I had no food.

Plus at the time the one I loved was in bad financial straits. I did almost everything I could to earn money. Anything and everything. I don't wanna be judged. But the next day it happened he called me a gutterslut. That I was even lower than that bc atleast a gutterslut got money. I left town after the month. After almost drinking myself to death. It was either leave or die. Now he's pulling the same depressed ******** that I wallowed in. That hes doomed and out of work. Well you know you didn't had your dignity stripped from you. That man who raped me stole everything from me that made me me. I used to love partying and having fun. Now I cant. I used to enjoy vodka based drinks now I puke at the mere thought. I smile and play an act but really I feel dead inside. Money problems seem small to me now compared to how I feel. I feel nothing just hallow and used up. I just dont care anymore anything..

[Skeezyks]

Hello Alfredisacat: Thank you for sharing this devastating experience. Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some comfort & support. I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. Two forums here on PC, that may be of particular interest to you would be the survivors of abuse forum & the women-focused support forum. Here are links to these forums:

https://psychcentralforums.com/survivors-of-abuse/

https://psychcentralforums.com/women-focused-support/

And then here are links to some articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help:

Sexual Assault: What Is It? How to Empower Recovery for Survivors

Building Empowerment After Sexual Assault

Dealing with Sexual Trauma: 3 Phases | Relationship Corner

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...auma-survivor/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/coping-with-flashbacks/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.