[shakespeare47]

I woke up this morning thinking about this situation:

Years ago when I was a kid (I'm 52)- between the ages of 8 and 12- we had a three wheeled Honda that we drove all over the place. We lived in a subdivision in a city of about 250,000, but there were a couple of vacant fields nearby. We drove it in those fields for years, all year round. We had quite a few friends who would join us- in the winter we'd pull people on sleds with the Honda.

I loved riding that thing. I just felt like I was free- it was fun to feel the wind in my face.

But then one year some kids took offense for some reason. One day I came home from school and some kids were riding our Honda in the field right near where we got off the bus. I was scared, but I went down and confronted them (I didn't know what I'd do if they caused any trouble- there were at least 3 of them, and they were all bigger than me). I told them that it was our Honda. They kinda looked each other and acted like it was all a great joke, then they said they didn't know who it belonged to... it had just rolled down the hill into their yard (an obvious lie). Then they just watched me while I drove it home.

I never did figure out what the deal was... was it just jealousy on their part? Did they just see me having a good time, and just want to try and take that away?

It kinda took my innocence away... I still feel slightly afraid when I'm enjoying myself- because I'm afraid that someone might notice and decide to do something nasty.

Thinking about it this morning just made me sad.

What do you mean by they "took offense"? It seems they just wanted to ride the Honda and they didn't really care who it belonged to. I wouldn't overthink it too much.

[MickeyCheeky]

Sorry you're feeling sad, @shakespeare47! I COMPLETELY garee with theoretical. I think they just thought it looked cool and tried to use it. Perhaps they DID see you while you were trying it, but there's no reason to feel guilty. It was yours and you've had every right yo use it after all! I understand why you'd feel afraid though. There are plenty of people who can get quite aggressive for things like this. Just stay safe like you always do. Your feelings are valid. Please be kind to yourself! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, @shakespeare47!

[shakespeare47]

Originally Posted by theoretical

What do you mean by they "took offense"? It seems they just wanted to ride the Honda and they didn't really care who it belonged to. I wouldn't overthink it too much.

It was a long time ago, but I seem to remember a few other encounters before the incident I mentioned- encounters in which they let me know they didn't like to see me riding the Honda- you know... kinda sneering sarcastic comments.

And they gave the distinct impression that they wanted me to see them ride it... and the challenge was "We've taken it.... Now what are you going to do about it?" They created a very stressful situation for me- while laughing at my response to the situation.

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

It was a long time ago, but I seem to remember a few other encounters before the incident I mentioned- encounters in which they let me know they didn't like to see me riding the Honda- you know... kinda sneering sarcastic comments.

And they gave the distinct impression that they wanted me to see them ride it... and the challenge was "we've taken it.... Now what are you going to do about it?"

Yeah, then it seems like they were a bit jealous. They didn't fight you for it, though, so that's a good thing.

Still, I don't think you need to hide that you're having a good time simply to placate other people. There are always going to be jealous people. Why should you need to alter your behavior simply because they can't control their feelings or learn to appreciate what they have?

[shakespeare47]

Originally Posted by theoretical

Still, I don't think you need to hide that you're having a good time simply to placate other people. There are always going to be jealous people. Why should you need to alter your behavior simply because they can't control their feelings or learn to appreciate what they have?

It seems to me that you're reading things into my post that aren't actually there.

But, yeah... I don't know why I should alter my behavior. It kinds puts me on edge though- something similar could happen again... and I've had similar experiences as an adult.

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

It seems to me that you're reading things into my post that aren't actually there.

Maybe. I inferred it from this:

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

I still feel slightly afraid when I'm enjoying myself- because I'm afraid that someone might notice and decide to do something nasty.

[shakespeare47]

Originally Posted by theoretical

Still, I don't think you need to hide that you're having a good time simply to placate other people. There are always going to be jealous people. Why should you need to alter your behavior simply because they can't control their feelings or learn to appreciate what they have?

Originally Posted by shakespeare47
It seems to me that you're reading things into my post that aren't actually there.

Originally Posted by theoretical

Maybe. I inferred it from this:

Originally Posted by shakespeare47
I still feel slightly afraid when I'm enjoying myself- because I'm afraid that someone might notice and decide to do something nasty.

I don't see it.

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

I don't see it.

So what does your fear of others' jealousy cause you to do?

[shakespeare47]

Originally Posted by theoretical

So what does your fear of others' jealousy cause you to do?

I'd rather spend some time talking about your responses in this thread. Is everything going okay? Does my story remind you of something that happened to you?

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

I'd rather spend some time talking about your responses in this thread. Is everything going okay? Does my story remind you of something that happened to you?

Yes. No.

I only assumed that fear of showing something would lead to trying to hide that something. That assumption was based on my understanding of emotions being motivators for actions, but as we've established in another thread, my understanding of emotion is rather poor.