I feel apart and different from "normal" people

Have Hope · Mar 21, 2020, 02:34 PM

At work we had a virtual "social" party where everyone got on a virtual video call. I felt like the only person in the room who was depressed over our global situation and over being locked up at home. Everyone else was totally chipper, making jokes and laughing, except for me. As for me, I feel mildly depressed. The only thing I could offer was talking a challenge I face at home, and I sounded depressed while talking about it to all of them. I regretted even opening my mouth afterwards.

It made me feel really separated and alone because of my depression and mental health issues. It also made me feel down on myself for having them in the first place, like I just don't measure up to the normal people. I am apart and separate. Like why couldn't I also be chipper, lively and making jokes like everyone else was? It bothered me. And I realized last night, that I have always felt apart and separate, ever since I was a young child.

I am sure many here can relate to this feeling. Anyone else feel this way too?

divine1966 · Mar 21, 2020, 03:02 PM

I think making jokes and making a light of it is just how many people cope. It’s not better or worse than whatever other methods. I am sure they worry about themselves and their loved ones just the same. They just express it differently. My brother, my dad and I exchange really dark humor with all kind of bizarre memes on the topic. Wouldn’t share it here. It doesn’t mean we think it’s no big deal or we aren’t freaking out. We are very much freaking out.

Yesterday my husband found crazy songs about coronavirus on you tube, played them to me and laughed his head off. Stupidest stuff. Well his Tourettes and OCD are through the roof these days plus he doesn’t have a luxury to be cooped up at home like lucky me, he is hospital RN so he is on a frontline every day. He just finds that looking up funny stuff keeps him sane. That’s how he copes. It’s not uncommon to cope by laughing or joking.

You cope differently. It’s just how you are. Not less normal. Different.

Bottom line I don’t know what’s normal. Many people struggle with depression or anxiety or whatever else On a regular day. Not everyone demonstrates it the same way. Not everyone shows it or they show it differently. Being depressed or upset or angry about this is pretty much new normal.

Have Hope · Mar 21, 2020, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I think making jokes and making a light of it is just how many people cope. It’s not better or worse than whatever other methods. I am sure they worry about themselves and their loved ones just the same. They just express it differently. My brother, my dad and I exchange really dark humor with all kind of bizarre memes on the topic. Wouldn’t share it here. It doesn’t mean we think it’s no big deal or we aren’t freaking out. We are very much freaking out.

Yesterday my husband found crazy songs about coronavirus on you tube, played them to me and laughed his head off. Stupidest stuff. Well his Tourettes and OCD are through the roof these days plus he doesn’t have a luxury to be cooped up at home like lucky me, he is hospital RN so he is on a frontline every day. He just finds that looking up funny stuff keeps him sane. That’s how he copes. It’s not uncommon to cope by laughing or joking.

You cope differently. It’s just how you are. Not less normal. Different.

Bottom line I don’t know what’s normal. Many people struggle with depression or anxiety or whatever else On a regular day. Not everyone demonstrates it the same way. Not everyone shows it or they show it differently. Being depressed or upset or angry about this is pretty much new normal.

Thanks Divine, that helps.

Usually, I don't feel this way with my co-workers. Just right now. And it's certainly uncertain and worrisome times right now.

On Facebook, I'm sharing funny memes to keep things light though. So there's that.

Yes, people do cope differently. They probably all just wanted to keep things light, but I was the one who had to bring up a personal challenge I'm facing. Oh well. So it goes. I keep it real.

divine1966 · Mar 21, 2020, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

Thanks Divine, that helps.

Usually, I don't feel this way with my co-workers. Just right now. And it's certainly uncertain and worrisome times right now.

On Facebook, I'm sharing funny memes to keep things light though. So there's that.

Yes, people do cope differently. They probably all just wanted to keep things light, but I was the one who had to bring up a personal challenge I'm facing. Oh well. So it goes. I keep it real.

I think it’s brave of you and perfectly fine to share personal challenge during this tough time. I hope they were understanding. I am assuming that video chat was for support during tough times and sharing challenges falls right into that category. We all have to be there for each other now. Hugs

Have Hope · Mar 21, 2020, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I think it’s brave of you and perfectly fine to share personal challenge during this tough time. I hope they were understanding. I am assuming that video chat was for support during tough times and sharing challenges falls right into that category. We all have to be there for each other now. Hugs

Thank you for saying as much!! They were actually supportive around it.

And yes the video call was actually an at home cocktail happy hour where our CEO came on to cheer us on. It was actually very encouraging regardless of feeling the way I do.

lady411 · Mar 22, 2020, 10:24 AM

I think you were just being real. Being normal is overrated. Everyone is coping differently with our current situation. Most choose the easy route of joking and laughing about it but there’s nothing wrong with that either. Maybe some other people need that too like Divine mentioned.
I myself have my hands full with my kids at home but I try to get on here as much as I can. I’m here if you want to talk.

Have Hope · Mar 22, 2020, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lady411

I think you were just being real. Being normal is overrated. Everyone is coping differently with our current situation. Most choose the easy route of joking and laughing about it but there’s nothing wrong with that either. Maybe some other people need that too like Divine mentioned.
I myself have my hands full with my kids at home but I try to get on here as much as I can. I’m here if you want to talk.

Thank you so much for this. I felt SO... well, just apart is the best word for it, which in turn, made me feel very alone with how I was feeling.

I am sure that everyone at work is anxious in their own way but are dealing with it by joking and laughing. Like you said.

The other thing is, I am the oldest employee amongst a crowd of twenty and thirty somethings -- so there's big age differences too. I must see that part too.

And I think you're right - being normal IS overrated. And I was just being real.

Please be safe and healthy, and your children -- and thanks so much for your offer.

divine1966 · Mar 22, 2020, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

Thank you so much for this. I felt SO... well, just apart is the best word for it, which in turn, made me feel very alone with how I was feeling.

I am sure that everyone at work is anxious in their own way but are dealing with it by joking and laughing. Like you said.

The other thing is, I am the oldest employee amongst a crowd of twenty and thirty somethings -- so there's big age differences too. I must see that part too.

And I think you're right - being normal IS overrated. And I was just being real.

Please be safe and healthy, and your children -- and thanks so much for your offer.

Age is an attitude. Have you watched Younger? It was on tv land I think but I watched it on Hulu. It’s fun. I very much recommend it. It’s fun. It’s about woman in her 40s pretending to be younger.

But I hear you about 20s and 30s, they sometimes don’t have the same worries unless they have children of course or poor health. Otherwise they might just not be as worried as us

Have Hope · Mar 22, 2020, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

Age is an attitude. Have you watched Younger? It was on tv land I think but I watched it on Hulu. It’s fun. I very much recommend it. It’s fun. It’s about woman in her 40s pretending to be younger.

But I hear you about 20s and 30s, they sometimes don’t have the same worries unless they have children of course or poor health. Otherwise they might just not be as worried as us

I have not watched it.... I will look it up! Thanks.

Yes, and all these twenty and thirty somethings don't have children at home. Not that I do, but being older does make me more worried in general. And I tend to worry more than most already as it is.

divine1966 · Mar 22, 2020, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

I have not watched it.... I will look it up! Thanks.

Yes, and all these twenty and thirty somethings don't have children at home. Not that I do, but being older does make me more worried in general. And I tend to worry more than most already as it is.

You’d like it! It had 6 seasons already and 7th on the way!

Have Hope · Mar 22, 2020, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

You’d like it! It had 6 seasons already and 7th on the way!

Well, there's no time like the present to delve into some binge watching. lol.

sarahsweets · Mar 22, 2020, 02:54 PM

Hey @divine1966: how's the mask situation with your husband? My brother is an ICU nurse and they only give him 1 because there arent enough. I am really worried about him and all other nurses and healthcare workers.

divine1966 · Mar 22, 2020, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

Hey @divine1966: how's the mask situation with your husband? My brother is an ICU nurse and they only give him 1 because there arent enough. I am really worried about him and all other nurses and healthcare workers.

I know! Isn’t it something. Nope no masks. I just texted him because we didn’t talk about it really. Just gloves and sanitizers.

My husband pretty much convinced that it’s not “if” but “when” he’ll get the virus. “Great”.

Have Hope · Mar 22, 2020, 03:09 PM

Haha, sarah, you just hijacked my thread-- but that's totally ok!!!! Just poking you with some fun.

sarahsweets · Mar 22, 2020, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

Haha, sarah, you just hijacked my thread-- but that's totally ok!!!! Just poking you with some fun.

Sorry hope! The adhd took control !

Have Hope · Mar 22, 2020, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

Sorry hope! The adhd took control !

HUGS!

divine1966 · Mar 22, 2020, 03:14 PM

Oops. I am so unfocused hyper and fidgety on
a normal day, but right now it’s magnified 100%, my mind is racing all the time so I didn’t even know which thread I am on! I can’t concentrate on one task.

Have Hope · Mar 22, 2020, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

Oops. I am so unfocused hyper and fidgety on
a normal day, but right now it’s magnified 100%, my mind is racing all the time so I didn’t even know which thread I am on! I can’t concentrate on one task.

I feel apart and different from "normal" people

Have Hope · Mar 22, 2020, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

Oops. I am so unfocused hyper and fidgety on
a normal day, but right now it’s magnified 100%, my mind is racing all the time so I didn’t even know which thread I am on! I can’t concentrate on one task.

I know what you mean....