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#1
Oct 30, 2019, 04:45 PM
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Would someone else like to start a new thread re problem solving? I noticed someone did earlier on this page but they are now anonymous. The only reason I don't want to start a thread on this is that I suck at that sort of thing. But it's a good idea for a thread imo
 I hope this doesn't trigger. I thought of replying to the original thread but don't have an answer to the last question asked... It could be a bit like an online therapy group (sort of) (maybe)   Oh and the problems are hypothetical.. It's a good idea (and as usual I haven't explained what i'm trying to say... why do I always put myself down? To get there first I guess and its my ''normal'' …  )
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 Discombobulated, Lilly2, MickeyCheeky, Open Eyes, TunedOut
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 Discombobulated, Lilly2, MickeyCheeky
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#2
Oct 30, 2019, 04:56 PM
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It's my normal too - hugs to you.
It sounds a good idea. Sorry I can't suggest anything right now. |
| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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#3
Oct 30, 2019, 05:04 PM
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Quote:
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| Discombobulated
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#5
Oct 30, 2019, 05:24 PM
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This can be the thread about problem solving. I’m really good at problem solving, except sometimes the end result is everything lies broken in pieces on the ground- kaput! Lol!
Ideally, we want to achieve a win-win kind of feeling when solving a conflict. Sadly, sometimes that’s impossible. Any specific problems does anyone want to discuss?
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"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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#6
Oct 30, 2019, 05:25 PM
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#7
Oct 30, 2019, 05:27 PM
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I don't have a specific problem I want to discuss at the moment, does anyone else?
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#8
Oct 30, 2019, 05:39 PM
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Quote:
I guess solving conflicts is a useful topic.... usually when I've tried I found the other person is …..  (as in not receptive to respectful dialogue ..) especially in real life. Have you ever tried a therapy group irl, I haven't..
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#9
Oct 30, 2019, 05:49 PM
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I think i'll ''hide under the table'' now How would you deal with a family member who is determined to deny everything and blame and label and not listen, other than cutting off contact.... therapy didn't help me with that at all. (I know this post has 2 separate, conflicting messages in it )
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| Discombobulated
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#10
Oct 30, 2019, 06:28 PM
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I usually prefer not to advise but I will try stepping into those shoes a moment to say what I might try to do in those circumstances.
In the absence of being able to cut off contact I think I would work on my own acceptance that this person would never change. That it did not make what they were saying true. That the truth was unchanged by their denial. If appropriate I may try to understand the factors which possibly contributed to them behaving as they have done. Granted this would not be easy to do if it was someone close to me who I saw often. |
| Fuzzybear, TunedOut
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| Fuzzybear, TunedOut
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#11
Oct 30, 2019, 06:34 PM
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Quote:
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| Discombobulated
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| Discombobulated
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#12
Nov 04, 2019, 02:05 PM
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I like making a list of the problems and then working on one problem at a time.
For each problem, I ask... How does it affect me? Is it within my control to solve? If it is out of my control, what can I do to reduce my reactions to that problem? If it is within my control, what can I do to solve the problem? Can I ask for help? |
| Fuzzybear
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| Discombobulated, Fuzzybear
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#13
Nov 04, 2019, 02:06 PM
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Thank you for this thread!
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| Fuzzybear
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#14
Nov 04, 2019, 02:43 PM
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If both want to solve the problem then a compromise can be had. Sometimes the other person doesn’t want to solve the problem— their goal is to push you away. Recognizing the difference can spare you pain from no good results no matter what you do.
I’ve recently had a conflict that I couldn’t solve in a good way because the other party was completely unbending. So that told my common sense to just back off. I still love them (it’s my child!). So now I am gently trying to keep contact and remind them I am here when they are ready to speak again. It’s he who refuses to speak to me now even though he was the instigator. People do this. They get mad at you when they are wrong and you call them on it IME!
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"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
| Discombobulated, Fuzzybear
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#15
Nov 25, 2019, 12:39 PM
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^ Agreed, sometimes the other person doesn't want to solve the problem. Their goal is to push us away. Some family members for example
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#16
Nov 27, 2019, 02:15 PM
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#17
Nov 27, 2019, 03:42 PM
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Quote:
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"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
| Fuzzybear
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#18
Nov 27, 2019, 04:06 PM
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If the other person wanted to solve the problem there probably wouldn’t be a problem in the first place. Hugs.
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"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
| Fuzzybear
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#19
Nov 27, 2019, 04:09 PM
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#20
Nov 29, 2019, 10:22 PM
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Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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#21
Jun 02, 2023, 06:57 AM
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| Discombobulated
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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