What I encourage you to remember when you are bullied

happysobercrafter · Nov 26, 2019, 01:42 PM

When I bullied or trolled innocent people, it was never about them. It always was because I had deep inside unresolved problems that fueled my rage and hatred I took out on the innocent people I bullied and/or trolled because I had learned no productive ways to manage my anger.

My stuffed, raw rage came flying out because I didn't know why I was bullying people. I thought their behavior warranted my angry response because that is what I saw over and over from my abusers.

Now, having done my best to work through what troubles me, I no longer have that need, thankfully. I was miserable when I bullied people.

I hope this helps some of you see what really goes on when someone is bullying or trolling you.

Thunder Bow · Nov 26, 2019, 01:46 PM

Spot On. You hit the nail on the head.

Fuzzybear · Nov 26, 2019, 01:50 PM

I also agree, what you said is correct. Thank you for sharing this @HappyCrafter. I have reacted fearfully or with anger to bullies and trolls. What you posted helps me understand some of their behaviours more.

LilyMop · Nov 26, 2019, 01:51 PM

@HappyCrafter

I really appreciate that you shared this. I needed to hear it. It’s important to do more of my own healing so that I understand and know not to react to the anger in other people. I definitely react fearfully to bullies. Knowing the sadness behind the bullying could lessen my fearfulness.

happysobercrafter · Nov 26, 2019, 01:51 PM

@Thunder Bow

Thank you.

I am just sharing what I learned about myself when I bullied people. I hope it helps.

happysobercrafter · 02:19 PM

Honeybunnies,

Every time we open our mouths and speak, we reveal parts of our inner world.

One behavior that never failed to set me off was when someone treated me with arrogance or disdain. And that was because my abusers cemented that problem in place by down-grading me non-stop. It also reflected how wounded my self-esteem was.

The best way to deal with bullies is to ignore them, if you can. Block them online or find a different website that suits your needs better.

Here's an example of how I handled a bully on Facebook a few years back.

Some British comedian had passed away and seeing the announcement on Facebook, I asked who the person was. I had never heard of him.

Someone responded with something to this effect: Do you live in a cave, how can you not know who this is?

When I read her comment, I remember thinking, is she talking to me?

So, I asked: Are you talking to me?

Turns out, she was and continued to be snotty.

So I responded with this:

Why on earth would you say that to a complete stranger?

When I went back later to check on it, someone had deleted her comments. I still don't know who the comedian was.

Anyway, that encounter was online, so it was easier to disengage. I need to think about bullies I have managed face to face, because right now I am drawing a blank.

Mendingmysoul · Nov 26, 2019, 02:41 PM

Ignore and disengage.Best option.

Buffy01 · Nov 27, 2019, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HappyCrafter

When I bullied or trolled innocent people, it was never about them. It always was because I had deep inside unresolved problems that fueled my rage and hatred I took out on the innocent people I bullied and/or trolled because I had learned no productive ways to manage my anger.

My stuffed, raw rage came flying out because I didn't know why I was bullying people. I thought their behavior warranted my angry response because that is what I saw over and over from my abusers.

Now, having done my best to work through what troubles me, I no longer have that need, thankfully. I was miserable when I bullied people.

I hope this helps some of you see what really goes on when someone is bullying or trolling you.

Than you for explaining. This is helping me understand why I became a victim

Buffy01 · Nov 27, 2019, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HappyCrafter

Honeybunnies,

Every time we open our mouths and speak, we reveal parts of our inner world.

One behavior that never failed to set me off was when someone treated me with arrogance or disdain. And that was because my abusers cemented that problem in place by down-grading me non-stop. It also reflected how wounded my self-esteem was.

The best way to deal with bullies is to ignore them, if you can. Block them online or find a different website that suits your needs better.

Here's an example of how I handled a bully on Facebook a few years back.

Some British comedian had passed away and seeing the announcement on Facebook, I asked who the person was. I had never heard of him.

Someone responded with something to this effect: Do you live in a cave, how can you not know who this is?

When I read her comment, I remember thinking, is she talking to me?

So, I asked: Are you talking to me?

Turns out, she was and continued to be snotty.

So I responded with this:

Why on earth would you say that to a complete stranger?

When I went back later to check on it, someone had deleted her comments. I still don't know who the comedian was.

Anyway, that encounter was online, so it was easier to disengage. I need to think about bullies I have managed face to face, because right now I am drawing a blank.

That what happen to me on YouTube. Then the bullies retaliate against me because I had ask a question without thinking it would created any future problems.

LilyMop · Nov 27, 2019, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mendingmysoul

Ignore and disengage.Best option.

That’s perfect.

Fuzzybear · Dec 02, 2019, 09:31 PM

Good thread

Buffy01 · Dec 05, 2019, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilyMop

@HappyCrafter

I really appreciate that you shared this. I needed to hear it. It’s important to do more of my own healing so that I understand and know not to react to the anger in other people. I definitely react fearfully to bullies. Knowing the sadness behind the bullying could lessen my fearfulness.

I'm the same way.