Maybe I try to hard?

Do you ever experience this... just when you set your mind to making improvements in yourself the universe sends you one challenge after another?

There’s no rhyme or reason to it. Clearly I’m not accepting what I can’t control because I’m feeling very rattled by the odd and frustrating obstacles that just keep coming. It’s literally been one thing after another.

I ask myself..... what am I doing.... or.... what can I do.... to see or impact things in a different way....

Note: I just now tried to correct my typo in the heading of this post and I can’t change it. Oh the irony of it: “Maybe I try to hard.”

Yes, sometimes Life can be REALLY difficult, @LilyMop! I am so sorry you're struggling! I personally see it like this: it is impossible to win each and every challenge, so I'd say just do what you cana nd focus on that. If you're not able to do something, just move on onto the next thing and do something else. Do what you can each day and remember that just because you haven't been able to complete a task or anything else, that doesn't mean you're INCAPABLE of doing it! Some things are just harder to do in general and some other things ar harder to do for some people and less so for others. So don't be too hard on yourself! I hope Life will be kinder to you from now on! Keep trying your best, ok, Friend? Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @LilyMop, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK, MY BEAUTIFUL, CARING, DEAR, SWEET, KIND, AWESOME, SMART, RESOURCEFUL, WISE, GENTLE AND WONDERFUL FRIEND?!

The challenge is the universes way of saying you can do it or most of it. The bit you can't do will wait

Maybe you try two hard? sorry

You know what, I think you may be a little hard on yourself- any typo you may make will not detract from the content of what you write which is often thought provoking and wise.

I am coming to believe that life is a series of challenges, we never win as such but we can learn and grow and hopefully survive these.

Funny you should post this this week. I was just starting to feel relaxed - then i woke up tuesday feeling dizzy. Well now i am pretty sure its just sinus and my ear stones in my ear canals or wherever, because ive been doing the lapley maneuver and heating my sinuses and i feel a lot better.

But usually i would be oh no! Its my punishment for feeling relaxed! And get all flipped out. But i tried to stay clam.

Thank you. I appreciate your kind comments here. I really do try to contemplate how I can be a better person and how I can do the right thing.

“Two hard” I love it!!

@MickeyCheeky

Thank you so much! You are tooooooooooo kind

I agree. We get thrown curve balls and they don’t stop coming. The challenge is for us to master how to gracefully handle them.

Haven’t you noticed small things are easy to let roll off you? That’s because you mastered that level.

I’ve also been having exceptionally outrageous stuff happen and let it really get to me. I’d have to be Wonder Woman to handle it with grace. But it didn’t kill me and maybe it’s made me stronger.

Is there a silver lining to the adversity we survive? Will it ever stop? Is life like the movie Groundhog Day?

It's like TishaBuv said. It's not what happens to us that matters, as much as it's how we respond to it.

The only thing we can control, unfortunately, is how we respond. We can't control other people's decisions or actions, and we can't control the way events or circumstances happen.

Remember the Serenity Prayer? I take out the 'God' bit, and repeat the rest of the prayer to myself a lot. As a reminder to try to stay grounded no matter how horrendous my life seems at the moment.

I'm not going to tell you that I think you are too hard on yourself. I think that's judgmental when people say that. How do they know? I really don't like it when I hear people say that. It's a way to undermine the other person instead of validate them. Just really bothers me, that phrase, "I think you're too hard on yourself."

I think if you want to respond differently to obstacles as they pop up, you can be really creative and find a way to respond that allows you to release the negative feelings and retain your wisdom and reason. Does that make any sense?

^^^^ This, right here.

For me, I have accepted that the world is basically Brownian Motion. All I can do is respond, or not, and I try to do that in the most positive way I can and then let the chips fall where they fall. Acceptance is my answer.

Sorry this is totally irrelevant but seeing Brownian motion used that way makes me think my micro degree wasn’t entirely wasted...lol.

Life IS Brownian motion! Just random motion of particles that we bump into and react to. That's awesome!!

Acceptance is the best response. Accept life as it is and let go of expectations.

Carl Jung wrote, "“We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.”

For me, happiness is about accepting 'what is' and letting go of what I can't control. Which is SO HARD to do (let go of the outcome I want). But it's like the Serenity Prayer reads: "...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

From what I see on here you are doing a great job at being a better person - what I notice about your responses is that you really listen and think carefully about your replies. From my own experience (& very likely others) you are very much a positive force.

Of course I don't see you in your everyday life but if you are similar in your day to day world I would not be surprised.

Please try not to be too hard on yourself - I know that is not always easily done of course.

I prefer when people try too hard. It is so much better than not trying at all. I now look at challenges as the universe teaching me the lessons I needed to become a better person. From everything I know about you, I find you exceptional in many many ways. Discombobulated is right--you are too hard on yourself. So many people on PC are but perhaps we are just passionate and caring people. My strategy for being overwhelmed is finding time to take personal time outs. I know you have a full time job and that in and of itself can be overwhelming but you are also building financial security which will allow you to take time for yourself. Look for ways to pamper yourself. You deserve it!!!

@Discombobulated @TunedOut

Thank you. What you wrote here brought me to tears. My self esteem has really taken a beating, especially these past few months. It’s likely I’m the one beating up on myself the most - and why do I allow others to be so critical? I have been figuring that out lately through my journaling.

I really appreciate that you took the the time to say kind and encouraging things to me. Your words mean a lot to me. I do try to be a kind person in every day life but I find that I have to be careful because people sometimes mistake kindness for weakness.

Thank you for giving me some much needed positive feedback and I will keep on trying I agree that I like people who care and who try.

I believe it’s true that when we are ready to learn, the lessons will appear. No matter how old we get or how hard we work, there’s always another mountain to climb right after we got done dragging ourselves over the last one.

I just want to make sure I don’t keep going in circles. That’s easy to do as well. Thank you again and I always enjoy sharing any of my own insight and giving encouragement any way that I can.

@Discombobulated @TunedOut

Thank you. What you wrote here brought me to tears. My self esteem has really taken a beating, especially these past few months. It’s likely I’m the one beating up on myself the most - and why do I allow others to be so critical? I have been figuring that out lately through my journaling.

I really appreciate that you took the the time to say kind and encouraging things to me. Your words mean a lot to me. I do try to be a kind person in every day life but I find that I have to be careful because people sometimes mistake kindness for weakness.

Thank you for giving me some much needed positive feedback and I will keep on trying I agree that I like people who care and who try.

I believe it’s true that when we are ready to learn, the lessons will appear. No matter how old we get or how hard we work, there’s always another mountain to climb right after we got done dragging ourselves over the last one.

I just want to make sure I don’t keep going in circles. That’s easy to do as well.

Thank you again and I always enjoy sharing any of my own insight and giving encouragement any way that I can.

This is great feedback. I agree with finding creative ways to respond to the stresses in life. I definitely like the idea of paving our own unique way. Yes, it makes sense that finding a way to release the negativity is very wise. Thank you so much for taking the time to write such thoughtful advice.

Yes the curve balls have kept coming for more than two months now. You’re right. It’s not possible to handle each one with perfect grace.

Just the other day I was thinking the exact same thing about the movie Groundhog Day! That is exactly what it has felt like lately.

Life goes on and the best we can do is appreciate the blessings in each moment right? Easier said than done.

@StreetcarBlanche

Acceptance is most definitely key. I’ve been extremely resistant to it. My counselor told me there is tremendous peace and freedom on the other side of this once I can let it all go.

Two books I highly recommend for creative problem solving:

Kelley & Kelley's book, Creative Confidence.



Morgan, Lynch and Lynch's book, Spark: How to Lead Yourself and Others to Greater Success.

Chapters from Spark I recommend for personal creative problem solving:

3. The Four Keys to Being Credible
5. Act with Intent: Make Decisions That Matter
7. Build Your Confidence
8. Demonstrate Consistency

It's a book with the lens of leadership in an organization, but hey, we're all leaders of our own lives. No one else can LEAD us unless we let them MIS-LEAD us. Am I right?

And another great

Acceptance is key, yes. It's easy to resist acceptance because that means we have to let go, when we "accept" our current circumstances. Who wants to let go of control?

Today, I found a Kohl's $20 cash card. I have no job, no money, no rent for January (yet), can't pay my bills or car insurance. But, I'm going to treat myself and spend that Kohl's cash today to treat myself. I *accept* all these unknowns "as is" and have put everything I can think of in place, that are supposed to help me with these unknowns but there's no guarantee I"ll be successful. So, I accept that I've done everything I can think of, and I hope for the best.