Coping with lockdown and the Corona virus

I am upset because my husband is watching the news 24/7, and he's not doing well mentally. I told him he needs distractions, yet he keeps watching the news all day long, which I believe is worsening his mental state.

I, myself, am taking long breaks from the news in order to maintain my sanity and to stay grounded. I am listening to relaxing ocean waves on Youtube with my headphones, I am watching meditative videos on my TV screen, I am listening to uplifting music, I am reaching out to friends, and I am doing anything to help myself to feel OK and stable.

But my husband? He's drowning in all of this and it's very upsetting. If I mention it to him, he gets more upset.

I know we all have our own ways of coping, but I feel he's not even trying to help himself, and any suggestion I make, he brushes it off by telling me we need to stay current on the news. It's maddening to me because the news is making him more and more anxious and more depressed!!!!

There's nothing I can do to help him. He wants to watch the news 24/7 and I am blocking it out in order to get my work done at home. I'm working full time, and he's only partially working now.

I am concerned that too much togetherness may harm us. We’re on top of each other while he’s at home doing nothing except watch the news and while I’m trying to work.

Argh.

How are people coping with all of this???

I am sorry. Constant news would bug the heck out of me too. I understand

Since you work from home and need to have some peace and quiet and in addition you find constant news disturbing, your husband is welcome to watch the news on his tablet/laptop/phone with headphones on.

Absolutely not on TV that other person can see and hear.

If one of us wants to hear/see something and other person wants to do something else or find that stuff bothersome or not interesting or is working, then the other person does it with headphones on a private device. Then when we both up to watching something we both like to watch (and neither of us working), then we turn a tv in a common area and have it on tv and both watch. Other times tv stays off.

I don’t think you can stop him from watching news if he is obsessed with news (my dad is this way), but he must not do it in a common area with sound on.

Thanks Divine! It's harder for us to accomplish what you suggest because we have one common living area, our living room, where he is sitting doing nothing and I am sitting trying to work. We don't own a tablet or anything like that he could use instead of the TV. I don't mind that he has the TV on -- I just will put on my headphones instead in order to concentrate on my work and relax myself. It's easy enough for me to concentrate on my work that way.... I don't get easily distracted - instead, I get hyper-focused. lol.

It's more that the news is making him more anxious and more depressed, and any suggestion I make otherwise, he dismisses and doesn't want to follow any of them. He's stubborn in that way.

I just hope we can survive all this togetherness! It's a bit much for my personal tastes. I love my solo time, I crave it and need it.

if tv doesn’t bother you (it would drive me bunkers) and he wouldn’t stop watching it, then I don’t think you can do anything about the whole thing. Just hope it ends soon.

You know... you're right! lol. There's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

I am not coping well. I am having trouble working.... I feel like I am deteriorating. Being cooped up like this is not serving me well. My husband is depressed and anxious, which makes it worse for me because I am depressed and anxious as well. I am dreading having him be home for the next two days while I work, sitting next to me on the couch all glum and depressed - I cannot take it, and it's dragging ME down with him -- and I have four client calls to conduct from home over the next two days while he's here with me. On Friday, I have 2 hours of back-to-back client meetings, from 10-12. This seriously BLOWS. I feel I am going to lose it. I don't know how I am going to make it through this.

Hang in there. We all will get through this.

Could you take breaks by walking outside? Wear ear pods and blast some music . We are on “shelter in place” lock down but walking outside is allowed and encouraged. It’s cold here and might be cold by you but that could be invigorating.

Go to the bedroom, close the door and work in there (assuming you work on laptop and not desktop). Make a bed so you don’t feel like you are working in bed.

If can’t work in a bedroom, send your husband there. Unless you live in a studio, there is at least one other room where the person can go to and close the door.

I have a webinar to do today online. I’d not do it in the same room with my husband simply because I don’t want any accidental noise while I am on it and I want to be focused in case something important is being said

Give him housework to do. Clean drawers or closets etc Housework that makes no noise. Tell him to clean refrigerator. It takes long time but it’s not loud task or too difficult. Or scrub bathtub. Or clean blinds etc

Do you have to be in the same room? You got to do something to get through this.

Thanks Divine!

Right now, we do have to be in the same room. We have a spare bedroom, but there's only a bed in there with no desk.

I may see if I can purchase a desk online, but that may be impossible right now... I am not sure. I cannot sit in our own bedroom, because there's only the bed and no support for my back. The only space I can currently use for work is our living room, which is our shared space and the only space where we really can hang out comfortably.

Alternatively, I could clean off our entire table in the dining room and use that as a desk... that's a possibility. We have a desk chair in there already. Light bulb just went off! It's mainly HIS junk that clutters the table, so i could ask him to clean it off.

Otherwise, I am doing everything possible to stay sane. I do get outside. I am listening to relaxing ocean waves on YouTube, and I just called the Employee Assistance Help Line available through work. I spoke with.a counselor, which helped me to calm down. I may call them again later, as I had to cut off early due to work emails.

Asking him to clean is a great idea. Thank you!

sorry you are going through this.

generally, (corona or not), I think the news is quite harmful and I'm glad that you have lots of distractions- me too.

I look at the news maybe once a day (I get an email newsletter with the top stories), but if their's nothing I am interested in it's just delete delete delete.

I'd say I'm coping pretty well- partly because I have a lot of things I can do (alexa, computer, tv, music, books)

though I do miss mcdonalds (fact), and it is hard to move forward in terms of appointments (I was meant to have one today but it was canceled, an I really could have done with it)

plus I have all you guys to keep me company

I am envious of people who are coping well! Good for you... And I agree about the news!

So I moved my workspace into the dining room today. As of today, I will have a separate space from where my husband hangs out, and I can close the doors for client conference calls. I am most happy about this.

@divine1966, thanks for the ideas and the inspiration!!! You helped me to solve the problem!!!

Now i just hope it's comfortable enough.

The dining room I also kind of call my room since it's decorated with mostly my artwork and belongings. It's a very happy looking, brightly decorated room, so I think it will be relaxing and peaceful for work. We also have our entire energy crystal collection in there, which makes me the happiest. Now I just need my headphones and music and I'm all set.

Will you be leaving your shoes at the door now that it's been reported that the virus can hang out on shoe soles for FIVE DAYS?

What about your dogs? Will they be leaving their shoes at the door, too? Or will you have a bleach foot bath for them at the door?

Omg.... Ok, I had to laugh at that one.

I am glad I was helpful!!! It’s great you have dining room separate from a living room and even with a door! Our living and dining area don’t have a door separating them. Hopefully it works out the best!

Yeah, you know I hadn't even thought of it because the table in the dining room was covered with clutter! But we already have a nice desk chair all set up there. All I had to do was push the clutter out of the way -- which will be moved permanently soon enough -- and voila! I made space for myself.

And yes, I am lucky there are doors I can close for privacy.

I am most pleased that this way, my husband can watch the news in the living room to his heart's content, and I don't have to see it while I work. It is most important for me to maintain a level of sanity while I am working and trying to focus on complex problems and tasks. I prefer to listen to my relaxing ocean waves while I work, than to constantly see Corona virus images and news headlines on the TV right in front of me.

I'm sorry to hear that! I understand because my sister is doing the same thing.

Thank you, @Buffy01!

Today has been a very, very bad day. Too much stress from too many financial burdens, and I am overwhelmed by it. I am not doing well at all through this pandemic. Being cooped up without being able to go to a mall, do some shopping, see friends or family or go out to eat is making me batty. I am bored stiff, and my husband and I have been tense with each other. This is not serving us well at all. I am losing it.

your welcome!

I understand! I want to go out. But can't due to the virus.

It suuuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkssssssss!!!! Argh!!!!

We just took a long drive and that helped. The city is empty. Very eerie.

It almost feels apocalyptic. There's no traffic, the malls are empty. I am dreading my husband's reduction in work. We'll be on top of each other and I know he'll have a ton of pent up issues.

I hear you on apocalyptic.

My husband and I were on top of each other at first. Then we created our own separate rooms and spaces so we could each do our own thing and it’s helped immensely. So try to carve out your own space, if you can, as well as your husband.

It's official. I am officially regressing. I bought an enormous 5 feet tall and 5 feet wide stuffed teddy bear online yesterday for our apartment. A co-worker gave me a large stuffed teddy bear several months back and it's sitting in our spare bedroom, so I figured, why not? This bear needs a buddy and it's adorable!

Yep - Ok. I seriously think I may be losing it!!! I am nearly 50 years old!!!! LOL!

I have been shopping online lately a LOT as therapy. I've bought clothing, I've bought jewelry, and now a stuffed bear?? My husband even chipped in and bought me jewelry yesterday, in knowing that I've been depressed lately being cooped up at home.

But I've got to get a hold of myself. I am not overspending at all, I am spending within my means, but still... I feel like a shopaholic! I already have strong shopping tendencies, which have now only increased tenfold since this virus has kept us locked indoors.

I guess it's my coping mechanism and a way for me to cheer myself up. I tell my husband that it's like getting gifts in the mail, when they finally arrive, one by one. And it DOES cheer me up!!

How is everyone else coping with this???

In my state, we're not in "lockdown" per se since we're able to leave our apartment, drive around to different places and get takeout at restaurants, etc, walk the beach and there's no curfew or anything. But still, it's making me absolutely insane. I am sure I am not the only one going nuts right about now.