[K0123]

Today,

I let someone hurt me. I allowed him, someone who doesn't even know me, to cause me pain, to feel worthless, to feel like garbage.

My boyfriend and I applied for an apartment. We need to find a better place. The last two places we've lived have been so horrible. So we're putting our all into this search, for a good place to live.

So this man we applied to, his building, was nice... we liked it and looked forward to acceptance into the lease.

He asked if we both work. I don't and let him know. But right now my boyfriend affords our financial obligations. I feel horrible about it, and am working on myself so I feel good enough to start the job process. I've had a tough time with it all in the past for my reasons.

So anyways, the apartment owner seemed okay that I wasn't working. So we filled out applications. Today, after waiting a week to hear back, he communicated with us about it all. He said that his concern was me, and that I'm not working. So, we responded back that we can afford it. Then he wanted us to call and chat about me being an artist and painting, which he found out on his own, and it gave me the creeps.

Confused and feeling somewhat violated, I had my boyfriend call him, because it felt weird to me. He wanted to know if I was responsible about being clean while I painted, if the paint had fumes, etc. It kind of made sense that he was ripping me apart, wanting to know my habits as a living human being... but it was just how rude he was being about it all.

So we turned down the apartment, because it felt like my existence was just not something he cared for.

I feel like trash. But I'm going to at least pretend to be strong and keep going.

It's a victim mentality, but sometimes, I just feel like life wants to keep me down.

[Bill3]

[MsLady]

That would make me feel unsettled, too, that he was able to obtain information about you from a different source.. unless your boyfriend slipped it in at some point.

Maybe it wasn't a personal attack as much as it came off.. especially with this coronavirus laying off a lot of people? It could be why this unit became available.

I get the fumes issue. I have a sister who owned property and the BS she endured by her tenants was ridiculous. I think landlords are on guard because many have been burned.. so they take extra precautions.. and maybe unnecessarily, at times.

So, look at it that it wasn't "you" he had issues with but more his "past experiences" that led him to be particular in who he wants to live in his home.

Sorry it made you feel worthless, though. Keep painting and be inspired! You'll land a job at the right time.

[K0123]

@MsLady

I understand landlords are likely to have some bad tenants, it's inevitable as there all all kinds of people.

But I feel personally attacked because it felt like he was digging into me, judging and rejecting me, simply because I am unemployed. We showed we could afford the rent, still, and it seemed like he felt the need to continue digging into me as a person, to find a way to reject me. For some reason. Maybe he felt I wasn't worthy due to being unemployed. He felt he had the right to ask why I don't work... after knowing we could afford the rent. He was rude and strange and offensive.

Landlords have rights, but so do tenants. I'm a person. He doesn't know me. He doesn't know that I'm responsible and considerate. But he sure is quick to abuse others and make false assumptions.

I'm better than people like him... I don't deserve that kind of horrible treatment. Nobody does.

Glad I dodged a bullet.

[divine1966]

Why is it his business you don’t work. So wrong on entry level. As long as your boyfriends income is enough for rent, what does he care. He looked you up and saw that you paint? Hmm. I am sorry. It doesn’t sound right

[MsLady]

Originally Posted by K0123

@MsLady

I'm better than people like him... I don't deserve that kind of horrible treatment. Nobody does.

Glad I dodged a bullet.

Totally! Yes, you definitely made the right decision because if you felt attacked and dissected 'before' moving in, there's a good probability he'll continue to hang 'something' over your head and you'd both be under his mercy.

It really doesn't matter what and why he did what he did. What matters is that you felt he treated you unfairly and were luckily in-tuned to those red flags before opting to move in. I'm glad your bf was supportive.

Things happen for a reason and I bet you'll find a nicer place to live in. All the best!

[K0123]

Thank you 💛