How can I feel love and tons of empathy? Is it possible?

Hi;

I don't know if i'm a sociopath, I hope i'm not... but that isn't what this thread is about. I am worried I cannot feel love. I felt sexually attracted to people before, I care about my brother, and I was really upset when my great-grandmother died...

Yet, I don't know if I can feel love. I want to love, I want to be able to love and socialize with other people, I want to feel sympathy and empathize with animals and people alike.

All the times I had girlfriends, I was nice to them yes. I am nice to everyone, yet I don't like talking to people. I didn't feel love... I cared about them, but I never had sex with them or just wanted them for sex.

When I have to outside activities with my family instead of my brother, I get grumpy and bored, yet I'm perfectly content with watching over my pets with my brother or being with my brother.

My family nags me a lot(used too, I think) so that could be why? But I don't want to feel that way! I care about them and can get worried for them yes, but at times I felt I hated them and said horrible things about them when they upset me, I never shown violence or aggression though...

I am starting to help them out more, I walk my dogs and feed my pets among doing other things voluntarily. Though I want to love them, I want to love.

As for my empathy issue; I don't feel a lot of empathy, in fact I feel more empathy for talking anime cats than really anything else... I did feel empathy for real life cats, someone who's mother passed away, and for Anne Frank and her family + the other families in the Frank house.

I also tend to share my items or food a lot, I started giving my people food and let others use my items or watch TV. I don't lie much anymore and want to be more honest.

Yet I just cannot feel much empathy, I want to develop empathy... Yet if I am a sociopath, i'm afraid I cannot develop it. I cannot cry at sad scenes in films, I get violent thoughts.

I want to feel empathy and love, I am not a violent person and I don't fit many of the checklists of being a sociopath or psychopath. Yet I cannot feel much love, remorse, or empathy. All things I want. I want to be a "normal" person.

I want to be a social person who has all requirements to be good, I am kind and tolerant of most people as long as they don't harm others. Is it possible for me to feel empathy, love, and remorse?

Hi,

Your empathy will grow with time, friend. The fact that you want it to happen means you're already on the right path, in my view. For me, the question is a difficult one to answer, but if you go to YouTube and type in 'how to build empathy', you will get a lot of results. It's obviously an important issue for many people.

All the best in your quest, it's going to be okay.

Just a few thoughts, but by your own admission you do care for your family, did care for your girlfriends, were upset by your grandmothers death and do feel towards fictional characters. Just because you don't feel as deeply, or show as much affection as others, doesn't mean you don't love them

and it seems that you not feeling deeply eats up at you, isn't that in some ways, remorse for not being a certain type of person? What matters just as much, if not more, is the action. You can feel love, empathy and remorse, but if that's not shown through your actions, then it doesn't actually help those around you. The steps you're currently taking to improve yourself sounds like an act of love,. It might not be grand, but nonetheless it's something you're doing for the benefit of others. If that's not the definition of an act of love, at the very least, it's an act of good, and I think that's what matters more.

Why you called yourself “ I hate myself”?
Why do you hate yourself? It has to do with what you describe in this thread or it’s something already existed before?