Time of death

At about 12:30 in the afternoon Swedish time, my aunt passed away battling melanoma. She was a brave soul and even during fighting her disease, she was always telling us to take care of ourselves. She loved her kids so much... and her husband loved her so much. It's not often that you come across a family so happy and affectionate... why did it this happen to her? They've never harmed anyone... they were the type of people that made their kids donate stationery to kids in orphanages. I wish it was me. I'm not doing anything useful anyway. Up until the night before her death she'd been going through hell on Earth since the past 4 days or so. She couldn't even have an IV drip or water because it was going to go into her lungs. She had to be spoon-fed water. She didn't deserve this. Neither the disease nor the suffering. Why is it that people like this always die? Why is it that kind and affectionate people that the world so desperately needs are always the ones to go first? I hate this. I hate that the first doctor didn't think to send the excess growth for a biopsy. I hate that she had to pass away. I hate that I couldn't do anything. I hate that people keep saying that sins in her past life have come back to haunt her. And I hate that I couldn't be there for at least the kids emotionally because I'm incapable of catering to people's needs. I hate the fact that I'll never see her again

Sins in her past life? Wow. Sounds like some people need to read a few more books and get out more...

I am sorry that your aunt suffered so, but she obviously made a huge difference in this world and that will never be forgotten. What we do does matter, it does make a difference. Unfortunately, there are bad diseases out there and she got one of them. I used ot run a melanoma clinic. Delayed diagnosis is very common, sadly. I am so sorry she had to go through that, that all of you had to go through that. But it certainly does happen--all the time.

To me, the important thing is that we try to do the best with the time we have. There really is nothing else to be done.

Love and support always. I am quite sure that she is in a far superior place now.

My condolences on your loss. (I'm an older person myself. And everyone in my birth family has now been gone for many years.) I see you're a 5+year member. So perhaps you're already familiar with the articles, in PC's archives, on the subject of grief & loss. However, just in case not, here's a link to a listing of some of those articles:

Coping with Grief | Psych Central

And then I thought I would also share with you my personal favorite among the grief-&-loss-related articles in PC's archives:

What My Dog Taught Me about Grief and Loss

(If you read it be sure to read all the way through to the end. That's where the gold is.)