[Christmas cookie]

A little over two weeks ago I had major surgery on one of my limbs due to a past traumatic event. Yes I'm looking forward to improved mobility and I know it will heal in time. Yet I feel depressed and emotional. The pain is quite bad at times, although better compared to the first few days. It takes longer to prep for a shower, wash, and dry myself. Routine tasks are more difficult. I realize this is part of it.

The person helping me time to time is grouchy. They often wait to do a task, to see if I will do it instead. Yesterday I spent the majority of the day in bed. Tired and pain. I take medication but the surgeon told me to wean off one of the powerful ones. I'm not a heavy medication user and not worried about addiction.

I'm not sure exactly why I feel depressed.

The other issue is I'm my own worst enemy. If a symptom is present (presently a very swollen area) I convince myself to manage it on my own for awhile before calling. Ice, elevation etc. After awhile my thoughts go to-do I call the doctors office, will they be upset, consider me a pest? This stems from bad experiences with doctors judging me for other reasons etc.

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you are struggling with this depression & emotionality on top of trying to heal from your surgery. A bit over 20 years ago now I underwent a fairly major abdominal surgery (followed by another lesser one.) And I can still recall the post-op depression I experienced. (I still recall the challenges of getting cleaned up.) In fact, during the recovery process I actually developed a brand new (for me) self-harm strategy. (I'll spare you the details.) Fortunately I did give that up after a while though.

Anyway I just wanted to offer my best wishes for your quick & complete recovery. (Please do call your doctor's office if you feel you need to.)

[Christmas cookie]

Thanks skeezyks Abdominal surgery sounds painful. Hopefully the swollen area improves soon. Its a anxiety driven battle in my head; convincing myself and coming up with reasons why I should not call.

[Open Eyes]

Christmas part of the overall challenge after a surgery is how it takes the brain a few months to overcome the affects of the anesthesia.

Also yes often medical staff can be cold and even act like they are impositioned by the care you need from them. I experienced that myself after going through life saving surgery. Just remember it’s their job and they are being paid to help you. Don’t feel guilty for needing help.

Are you home or are you in a hospital or rehabilitation facility?

[Christmas cookie]

Open Eyes, I'm at home. They didn't give me general anesthetic. Nerve block and sedation. Quicker recovery ( day surgery) in post op section of hospital. Makes sense anesthesia changes brain temporary. True they are being paid to help. My bad experiences cause anxiety. I plan to wait another few days to see if the swelling improves. No signs of infection .

[Open Eyes]

Honestly I really think you should at least call the doctor and let him know about the swelling.

[divine1966]

My husband just had reverse shoulder replacement surgery, his was under general anesthesia due to complicated case and stayed overnight to watch for infections. Yes it’s not uncommon to experience anxiety issues over surgeries. He was anxious before surgery and is better now but he worries about being off work onFMLA for so long etc It’s a typical reaction to invasive surgeries: worries, depression, anxiety...

I am surprised you have bad experience with doctors, or do you think they might treat you bad? We only had great experiences with hospital staff and his surgeon is great. I think it might depend where you live? Hospitals are great by us

Having said that, if you experience swelling you call a doctor. They are more likely to be irritated if you don’t call than if you do. In addition hospital paperwork indicates when to contact them. What does your say? What about swelling? Please call them. When is your first post op appointment?

[Christmas cookie]

I hope your husband heals soon. I've had bad experiences with a few doctors. One surgeon made insensitive remarks about my trauma (trauma that caused injuries) at every single appointment. I stopped seeing this jerk. Unfortunately he participated in my recent surgery because they needed two.

My recent follow up was with the jerk because the other one is on vacation. Jerk acted decent. Next follow up 4-5 weeks.

Update: I phoned decent surgeons secretary and explained swelling. She asked if other surgeon (jerk) at my recent follow up saw swelling, what did he suggest, any concern. I explained he did not seem alarmed, told me to elevate and ice. I followed his instructions and no change. Basically she said if hes not concerned its no problem. Swelling takes awhile .Told me to wait until next week, if not better take pics and send via email. She will show surgeon. Where I live, they never give patients office email address. She did. A little snarky but I understand they deal with a lot. Hopefully my swelling improves.

[divine1966]

My husband is recovering reasonably well, considering.

Yes swelling takes time. I am glad to hear that you followed up with their office. Very wise. Take care of yourself and I wish you speedy recovery. It’s certainly not an easy thing. Hang in there

[Travelinglady]

I can understand your frustration and depression. I had a knee replacement in January and it takes awhile to recover from such operations both physically and emotionally. Is there any way to get a less grumpy caregiver?

[divine1966]

Will you need physical therapy? You might feel better when you start (if you’ll have to do PT). My husband is in a better spirit since he started PT this week. It helps to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

[Christmas cookie]

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

I can understand your frustration and depression. I had a knee replacement in January and it takes awhile to recover from such operations both physically and emotionally. Is there any way to get a less grumpy caregiver?

I hope your knee is better. I'm hoping to find a better caregiver. This particular family member is unhappy and negative. I told him today if he doesn't want to help- leave!

[Christmas cookie]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Will you need physical therapy? You might feel better when you start (if you’ll have to do PT). My husband is in a better spirit since he started PT this week. It helps to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Yes definitely. I'm in a cast for another three to four weeks. The surgeon should tell me at my next follow up.