[NeedHelp104]

I discovered at 23 I have been suffering from CPTSD my entire life. My entire life I have revolved around routines of avoiding toxic shame and feared intimacy related to trauma in childhood and growing up. My psych asks me if I ever had hung out with friends, or had a romantic relationship, and the honest truth is no. Now I am learning what it's like to actually live a life that's normal...And I feel old saying it. Most people my age have been to parties, did things, girlfriends, etc. I've never done any of it. Sure I went out here and there but each year I'd say 2-3x per year with people I know. I feared intimacy of all its kinds. When i tell my psych this I hear the sadness in her voice, "Oh, aw, ok." I know she means well (and she does), but it kills me to have to tell anyone this...Anyone else feel same way?

[Laurielrocks]

Yes yes yes. It took me going through a few to find one that actually wasnt a
a. unqualified scumbag
b. licensed rapist
c. overpaid drug pusher
I could go on. Some arent actually in it because they want to help people. My final and life saver told me I taught him more than he learned in any book. We helped each other understand PTSD. Sexual abuse , anxieties.... He saved me. It makes me sick to see how some people are talking about what kind of therapy they get. I went to college took 6 years of Psych just to learn more about myself.. No book or lecture can make anyone understand what we have live through and deal with every day.