How are you coping today? #3

I’m trying but it’s difficult. I’m so tired today. I’m worried I’m going to get kicked out of program and therefore not be able to see my therapist and Pdoc anymore. Maybe if my Pdoc actually kept my appointments or replied to emails I could figure things out.

Edit. I talked with my case manager and she said it was fine to take tomorrow off since it’s a holiday. She said I won’t get into trouble.

I need to practice the skills I’m learning so I can stop assuming and get worked up.

Just adjusting to the so called new normal,most of the shops shut,cinemas shut,restaurants shut,my favourite cafe is take away service only so can't use it.It costs me £9 there and back and £5.70 for a toastie and coffee and I am supposed to eat it hanging on the street corner standing up,which would take 10 mins then I'd have to come home,I usually hang in cafe all day which justifies spending the money on taxis but not doing it for 10 mins.That's if I can stand for 10 mins cos my legs hurt,there is no seating outside the cafe they have taken all the seats away you can't sit down.I can't handle this lockdown and it is horrible.

Not very well, feeling really sad. December is the worst month for me...

I'm not doing too bad this morning. I've started on my chores for the day. I also spent some time playing my game. People were standing around dancing, so I did a little dance too. It was fun. The only place I can socialize is in-game. I may go to a party in World of Warcraft tonight.

My mind keeps going back to what I feel was a pivotal point where my different actions might have changed the terrible outcome. She had called the meeting with just us and without him there. I thought it was for the purpose for us to put this train wreck back on the right track, where she would apologize for her bad treatment and make amends. She did the opposite. I was shocked at how she spoke to me. No fiancé with good intentions to build a life with a man would ever go on the attack at his parents like she did.

My reaction to her shocking put-down she said to me, was to get up and leave. But my h insisted we don’t leave. Her venom got worse after I sat back down. She then bludgeoned us by telling us she has heard our son cry to her for years because we are terrible parents. We were in shock. We had nothing but love, and never one negative word exchanged with him.

I told her that what she is saying has shocked us speechless and can’t imagine where this stemmed from. I said I did not want to have this conversation about him without him here. But she continued, even causing my h to walk outside to take a break crying.

We let her talk as she laid some unsolicited advice on us, to be totally supportive of whatever they do regardless of them doing some things that cut us to the core and other things that were just offensive.

We responded as my h calls ‘fake nice’ without a fight, leaving it seeming fine. We drove home trying to make sense of what happened.

Instead, my mind keeps going back to I wish I had walked out when I wanted to, and gone over to his place to include him in this discussion. Could that have made a difference for the better? I so wish something had.

Every family seems to have a member like her, @TishaBuv. And they ARE like poison. I'm really sorry!!

After all the soul searching I’ve done on this, it’s as simple as her intentions were to alienate us so she can have full control over him and their life with no distraction, influence, or interference from us. Thanks, Breaking Dawn!

As usual the morning was great. Then as usual around noon I started feeling down and anxious. I’m doing a lot to keep busy, and I’m handling my feelings and thoughts when they come. So I guess I’m coping ok. I get kinda antsy and restless Christmas Eve because I’m anticipating Christmas. I know what I’m getting but I haven’t actually seen them. So I am still excited about my gifts

I am doing well, work has gone well despite being hard work, it's honestly been my saviour this year.

Spent time with my son this afternoon, which I appreciated and called my dad tonight which was good too.

Today is peaceful and relaxing,and it's christmas day too,so that's good,I will be online and then listen to the radio then watch tv,I am all alone all day and evening and night,
I don't mind, I enjoy a bit of solitude,I hope my mother is well looked after in the care home today.

I seem to be coping fine.

I'm coping well. I'll be alone today but I'll play games, eat Thai food and watch creepy videos.

For 3 weeks I stopped drinking coffee and most caffeine. My anxiety was unbearable. Today I had a large iced coffee and I feel super relaxed and not anxious.

Tired and overwhelmed.

I had a quiet,peaceful,enjoyable day and I coped well with being alone.

Enjoyed the ZOOM meeting with my FOO so much yesterday evening. Had a relaxing day with my husband and daughter yesterday including a lovely Christmas lunch. It was a very nice Christmas.

Going to enjoy my thoughtful gifts(for myself and my 12 year old pup, Ember) we got mostly consumables, chocolates and salmon chews and plush stuffed toys, but also a few nice and thoughtful gifts and cards(with thoughtful cash and gift cards). We will bake another round of cookies and plan for a relaxed workweek until New Years. Hoping to enjoy quiet time and movie throwbacks.

I'm not coping well. I'm stressed and I'm tired.

I am doing ok. I could use some energy, though.

I had a four day weekend and all I think about is dreading to go back to work on Monday. It seems silly for me to feel that way. I'll have to say that I don't enjoy my job as much as I used to. And then I have another four day weekend coming up. Also I'm dreading some doctor consultations in a week and a half from now.