How are you coping today? #3

Well mixed feelings and also trouble with sleep.Last two days Ive been getting about 4 hours sleep during the night,before that I got 9 hours and even 20 hours so my sleep isn't consistent.I am not coping well during this lockdown being couped up indoors isn't good for my mental health.I am very depressed and my anxiety has got worse.I don't feel well.

I'm coping well tonight. I had a major issue but found something to take care of it. So I'm feeling lots better. I'm working on one of my classes to pass the time. I think it's going well and it's helping me to feel better about myself.

Things are so weird right now, I wish I knew what to do. But I seem to be coping ok right now.

I had a stressful day.My blood pressure was checked by the nurse,it was much too high,been high for years actually, 166/112 and I've had all the blood pressure meds and they all give me severe side effects.So nurse consulted with the doctor and doctor said a new pill came out and I am to try it.I collected the new med lecardipidine and read the leaflet it has the same ingredients of alodipine which was one of the ones gave me bad effects and the leaflet said if thats happened not to take them so I am not gonna take them.Also they have side effects of angina,irregular heartbeats and interferes with electric impulses to the heart.

I went to shop and was confronted for not wearing a laynard for exemption from wearing a face mask only had a badge on,that was stressful.

Got home got messaged by my gardener he came last october he said and did work on the garden and I owed him for it.I had sent him a message cancelling that day on messenger,he said he didn't see that message and came and worked.We argued I said I know he didn't come he insisted he came and trimmed my apricot tree.I do leave the gate open and sometimes he'd come when I am asleep and not tell me he'd arrived and just do work and leave.I was so angry cos he said he had an invoice for the work but he never used to invoice me he 'd come do the work ususally I'd see him and I'd pay same day or day after by bank transfer cos I trusted him.I said to him why aren't you sending me invoices?Also I got so angry I said I couldn't trust him and was gonna sack him as my gardener.

Then I spoke to my mum,she said if I let the gate stay open and he let himself in and worked and I didn't see him and thought I'd cancelled then it's a misunderstanding and I should pay him.So I paid him told him that;s probably what happened and if I cancel in future he is to confirm by text he's not coming and if he does come he's not to start work and go without knocking on my door to say he's here.And we settled the dispute amicably.But it really upset me and stressed me and probably didn't do my blood pressure any good.

I felt spaced much of today but got out for my exercise which was Good, spoke to a dear friend by phone tonight which was also good.

I’m coping decently. I mean, I was happy the majority of the day. My general anxiety was fine. My moods were kinda goofy this afternoon. I think I may have been having a slight panic attack. Although I still feel confident in my decisions. But I still think I may have freaked out a bit. I took my night meds in shifts again. Half at 3:30 and then I’ll take the other half in 15 minutes.

I'm using my DBT coping skills. I started feeling sad and lonely. I did REST and self-soothing with essential oils, beautiful gifs, nature sounds and an iced coffee.

I got up early today I am feeling a bit ill cos I know my blood pressure is high usually I take CBD which lowers it but I ran out end of December and I only just had the funds to purchase more,it should arrive today,so hopefully I can take it and lower my blood pressure.I must make sure not to run out again.Otherwise I am ok apart from burititis in my left arm which is really painful and has been going on for over a week about 10 days,its so uncomfortable and painful at night I have to take painkillers to sleep.

I'm having a difficult time. I think I may just go back to bed. This is when I'm usually up and pretty active with my games, but I am anxious about upcoming events in the US. I've been watching the news. I need to rest and relax. I'll go to bed and put some rain sounds on.

Not coping well. Over eating and reacting to childish behavior. I really need to focus on my tasks and not be distracted by nonsense. I could be a little more structured with snacks between meals but for the time being I prefer to mindlessly indulge.

I felt really ill today cos my blood pressure went even higher than yesterday so I had to start taking the blood pressure meds the doctor gave me and risk the side effects.
If I don't get my blood pressure down I am going to have a stroke or heart attack.Doctors says it should start to come down my blood pressure after 4 weeks on these meds.Please God I don't have side eefects and have to stop them.Didn't cope very well today mainly was resting,did clean the kitchen and wash the dishes and put them away.

Coped okay today, an online video chat with friends who live overseas which was nice. Talked through some important stuff with someone close to me who is struggling today.

I clean my whole house to get my mind off my bad day last Saturday.

I’m not doing too good. I took 3 milligrams of Xanax after some stressful email exchanges. I thought the Xanax would help a ton but I just fell asleep for an hour and woke up feeling groggy and still pretty anxious. I took half my night meds 15 minutes ago. I’m hoping that helps. Back in the days in 2012/2013 the only time I felt relief from my anxiety was at night because of my meds. Now it seems like the best time for me is in the morning before 11.

After my posts today, vowing to stop procrastinating and finish my taxes (we had VA health copays last year based on our income from 2019--our 2020 income coupled with our medical expenses, will likely be low enough to have $0 copays). My procrastination is causing me $.

I’m trying to have gratitude and not say the negative.

I still have Burititis in my arm and it still hurts a lot and is uncomfortable especially when I try to sleep at night.
My blood pressure came down a bit more and I don't feel as ill from that as I did yesterday.
I am still quite depressed and low and lockdown makes my anxiety and depression worse.
I am coping today by just doing nothing,sitting on the sofa wrapped in blankets and looking after my cats,changing their cat litter box
and seeing that they have food and water,that is the most I am doing today and fixing myself my meals.
I am not forcing myself to do chores.

It is a horrible feeling to be so depressed you can't motivate yourself to do anything that you used to enjoy.
You just can't be bothered and no matter how much you want to move and get somethiing done you can't move to do it!

I don't know if you'd call this coping,I guess it is though!

I'm trying to cope. Nothing seems to work though.

I’m not coping the best today. I’m just so angry and I don’t know why. I had my Geodon and Xanax increased recently. Not sure if that’s what’s going on. My mom said the F word in the car, she was quoting some song, and I snapped at her because the swearing bothered me. I can deal with quite a lot of swearing, but the F word bugs me for some reason.

These feelings seemed to come on very suddenly Wednesday night. Also food is still making me feel super anxious because I’m worried I’m going to get sick or a stomach ache from eating. So I don’t know if I have an ED but I know I’m developing a phobia of food and I’m losing weight as a result of only being able to eat a few specific foods I deem safe.

Switched my mid-day snack/lunch to a protein shake and having a light yogurt with dinner. Unfortunately still feeling the cravings from the cookies I had last weekend so will cool it on the sweets.

I took paracetemol for the Burititis pain in my arm that was a relief and omega 3 fish oils for the heavy depression,it seems to help,so my sister ordered me
some more from the health food store,to be delivered to my address.

It's 2.30am ,I got woken up by the pain in my arm from Burititis,lying down in any position is really painful so I had to
get up,so I feel sorry for myself,my arm hurts so much and even though I took paracetemol it still is painful lying down,a lot better
if I am sitting and not lying doqn.

I'm trying. It's difficult. I did see my med provider yesterday. We're increasing my AD. I hope that helps. Other than that, I'm hoping to feel accomplished by doing chores.

Not sure if your mother was angry but I have never liked when people swear in an angry way. Though there are some who can use swearing in a colorful way that seems less offensive. But yes, when our mother's swear, it seems a bit out of place for most of us. My mother was a proper lady with a 50s (rather than 60s) sensibility. I never saw her swear in public but I was the type of child who could make her swear. Don't remember my siblings bringing this side of her out.

I guess I am coping ok.