[NeedHelp104]

23, and I turn 24 next month which I'm not proud of at all. I'm unbearably depressed. I lost my job because I have an undiagnosed neurological condition to make matters worse. Apparently I've had it my entire life that I didn't realize because it got worse as I got older. It was my first and only job after I graduated College. I graduated top 5% of my class for this job, and I can't do it and I invested my entire life in doing it where I never went out on dates, social gatherings, etc.

I've just about accepted the fact that everything I've dreamed of having will never happen and I'll probably be working some low-tier entry level job for the rest of my entire life while everyone else who doesn't have difficulties I have and does not work as hard as me will get by and have the life I so badly want.

I'm so hopeless. I'm so tired of it all. I cry every night thinking my life is nothing but a waste. I've never been on a date and I don't want to go on one because I have nothing.

I didn't know life would be this hard....

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry that you're feeling so bad. Are there any jobs in the field you wanted to work on that you're able to do, perhaps other ones that are similar to it? i know it is not quite the same thing but Please do not give up as there can be other opportunities. Definitely give a try to dating as Well if you want because i think you may be underestimating yourself. We are here for you and i Hope you have a support system IRL as well. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @NeedHelp104, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[NeedHelp104]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

So Sorry that you're feeling so bad. Are there any jobs in the field you wanted to work on that you're able to do, perhaps other ones that are similar to it? i know it is not quite the same thing but Please do not give up as there can be other opportunities. Definitely give a try to dating as Well if you want because i think you may be underestimating yourself. We are here for you and i Hope you have a support system IRL as well. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @NeedHelp104, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

I know, I'm crying writing to you right now it means a lot to me. I have come to the conclusion that my life won't be what I expected it to be. My degree is almost worthless. I was top of my class academically and I've had to drop out of everything everytime due to these issues. And the ones who slacked now have full-time job and quality of life I always wanted.

Usually girls are not interested in me. People I like never like me back. Careers I want usually never end up happening. I have no friends, mainly because if they knew about how flawed and defective I am they wouldn't want to be friends with me.

I just worked so hard....So hard and now for me to get a job I have to apply for jobs that don't even require a degree and it makes me feel all my efforts were worthless. I feel worthless.

[NeedHelp104]

Originally Posted by NeedHelp104

I know, I'm crying writing to you right now it means a lot to me. I have come to the conclusion that my life won't be what I expected it to be. My degree is almost worthless. I was top of my class academically and I've had to drop out of everything everytime due to these issues. And the ones who slacked now have full-time job and quality of life I always wanted.

Usually girls are not interested in me. People I like never like me back. Careers I want usually never end up happening. I have no friends, mainly because if they knew about how flawed and defective I am they wouldn't want to be friends with me.

I just worked so hard....So hard and now for me to get a job I have to apply for jobs that don't even require a degree and it makes me feel all my efforts were worthless. I feel worthless.

Like in school...I loved learning...And everything I learned I cannot physically do. I spent 40-60 hours per week studying and getting good grades. Others didn't, and I put that effort on myself because I wanted to be successful. I didn't know in the real world that my efforts won't matter. I'm probably going to end up on disability at some point.

[MickeyCheeky]

No time spent studying is time wasted in my opinion but i can certainly understand why you'd feel hurt by not doing what you most Love. i really wish i could Help or do something but unfortunately sometimes we just need to accept certain things that happen in our Lives and learn how to deal with them. Please remember that it was NOT your fault this is happening and Please do not give up Hope for a better Life. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @NeedHelp104, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[Discombobulated]

I agree with MickyCheeky @NeedHelp104 no time spent studying is wasted. That is something it took me a long time to realise, but you are still very young, sometimes these things don't become apparent until we are older.

You are dealing with a life changing diagnosis. Do you have support from a therapist or anyone like that? There are therapists and psychologists who specialise in helping people who have diagnoses such as yours. Sadly there are others who are dealing with similar issues, but that might help you feel less alone.

What you are feeling is valid - I know I would feel cheated too (& I never was such a promising student as yourself) I think anyone would. But coping with this change in your life can be a process and professional help could make a big difference.

[AliceKate]

I think you deserve to give yourself a break, let all expectations go for a while, concentrate on your mental and physical health. Success is a waste of breath if it doesn't make you happy. I was very successful in my previous job, slid up the ladder so fast it was almost funny. But it was pointless and I dropped it all and am back in school now.

[Tatyana2009]

What needs to happen for you to feel safe again?

Originally Posted by NeedHelp104

23, and I turn 24 next month which I'm not proud of at all. I'm unbearably depressed. I lost my job because I have an undiagnosed neurological condition to make matters worse. Apparently I've had it my entire life that I didn't realize because it got worse as I got older. It was my first and only job after I graduated College. I graduated top 5% of my class for this job, and I can't do it and I invested my entire life in doing it where I never went out on dates, social gatherings, etc.

I've just about accepted the fact that everything I've dreamed of having will never happen and I'll probably be working some low-tier entry level job for the rest of my entire life while everyone else who doesn't have difficulties I have and does not work as hard as me will get by and have the life I so badly want.

I'm so hopeless. I'm so tired of it all. I cry every night thinking my life is nothing but a waste. I've never been on a date and I don't want to go on one because I have nothing.

I didn't know life would be this hard....

[mountainstream]

[NeedHelp104]

Originally Posted by Tatyana2009

What needs to happen for you to feel safe again?

I want to feel happy again. I want friends. I'm turning 24 next month and I couldn't imagine doing any career than the one I pursued because it was so personal for me. I'm super depressed. I wish this life was easier because I'm tired of seeing people my age having these things easier for them. No one will hire me because I have no work experience, and the one I did after I graduated I had to quit because my condition was affected my ability to work. Living at home with parents while everyone else around you is moving on with their lives while you're always stuck makes me feel isolated. I just want to give up...I'm so distraught.

[Turtle_Rider]

Hi NeedHelp. Sorry for your struggle. Please don't give up too soon. I understand your feeling, it was hard to me when I lost my first job. But believe me hard time will pass. It will take a while, but I believe you will land to another job if you keep trying, perhaps a better one.
I agree with AliceKate, you need a break. Yes there are some people (in your age) who doing better, but some are doing worse too. Try to relax and think something to do during this unemployment, like improving your skill. Also try to think the positivity from this event. It sounds dumb, but I've been down there too so I know it does work.
I wish you all the best.

[Tatyana2009]

Hi. Thanks for answering my comment. I can tell you that there is always something that can improve your situation. What do you enjoy doing? I have seen quite a few people commented. You are not alone.

Do you receive any professional help?

Hugs xxx

Originally Posted by Tatyana2009

What needs to happen for you to feel safe again?

[Mendingmysoul]

You are upset because you are unable to have your dream career due to your neurological conditions. I can understand.But you are very young and have your whole life ahead of you.You can take a small break ,have good therapy,improve your physical,mental health.You can plan another career that is not affected by your condition and one that is fulfilling for you.There is so much you can do if you motivate yourself.Please don't beat yourself up.Hope you will feel better soon.Hugs.

[sarcgeo]

At your age, I thought of a plan to end my life. About 10 years later, I was rewarded with the birth of my daughter. You NEVER know what sparkles in life await you. It is the sparkles in life that make life worthwhile. Isn't it interesting that only on the darkest night, that the stars appear brightest? Look for those stars...Trust me, life will reward you. What rewards do you think will happen?

Make daily little goals for yourself. Little baby steps, thank you uncle bob (the movie). Compare yourself to who you are today to who you were yesterday. Not every day needs a goal, but makes little steps. It is human to learn to crawl, before we learn to walk, and then we learn to talk. So, where are you going to crawl to? I am not trying to say that you are a baby, but it is our nature to make little steps towards improvement.

My first steps were to stop spitting at that image I saw in the mirror...it then grew from there...

--sarc

[modestlychee6463]

I would be very thankful I accomplished a college degree and I understand being upset about putting in so much hard work only not to get to do what you want to do for work. At least you got a degree and you don't have a parent who shamed you for not having that.

[Kidfle]

First job out of college. I remember as difficult. I went on past bachelor.so I had no choice. I stepped back. Took a job in the field but far under what I was qualified for. Then moved up. It turned out to be a benefit later but certainly didn't feel like it at the time. I learned my boundaries. How to manage without overwhelming myself. Well, overwhelming turned out to be a constant problem. You obviously are very qualified. You can do it. New world. Have to learn how to manage. A learning experience, that 's all! Enough! You can do it.