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Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
11 86 hugs
given |
#1
I made numerous bad decisions. I ruined my looks and my life. I've tried over and over to do better and i just dig myself deeper in a hole i can't crawl out of.
I've asked God to call me home. Death is painful I'm afraid of pain. I just wish my life could be good. It's full of disappointments. I've lost my desire to keep trying. Nothing matters anyway. __________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
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mssweatypalms, rechu, Scarlet Alexis, WovenGalaxy
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 3,619
(SuperPoster!)
4 6,475 hugs
given |
#2
Dear Aviza,
I am so, so sorry you are suffering. I've read many of your posts and they have often helped me to feel better and to be a better person. I wish I knew how to help you. You are a very special person! Sincerely yours, Yao Wen |
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Aviza, Scarlet Alexis
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Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
11 86 hugs
given |
#3
Thanks Wen. I'm coming in and out of these feelings. My Arms worker helped off duty hours. I want to call crisis but fear being hospitalized. I have work demands. My daughter is graduating this weekend. Arms worker thinks it's the graduation getting to me and part of my disorder. Just ride the wave basically. I'm listening to a lot of loud music. It helps. And eating too much.
__________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
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Magnate
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,861
4 4,858 hugs
given |
#4
I am so sorry you are struggling right now. Be kind and gentle with yourself right now. I'm glad talking to your arms worker helped a little. Sending hugs your way. Yes ride the wave. It will get better.
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Aviza
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Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
11 86 hugs
given |
#5
Update, see spiritual healing post for details but i feel great. I'm excited about life again. Like my job. Feeling happy and good.
__________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
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WovenGalaxy
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WovenGalaxy
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 600
3 55 hugs
given |
#6
@Aviza, I am so glad you are feeling better. I also enjoy reading your posts. I hope you do so much better that it moves the mountains that you are dealing with. Please don't give up. You'll feel much better. And once it's all lifted, you will thank God you didn't do anything. Trust me. You'll move on from that stupid feeling and it'll be incredible.
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
(SuperPoster!)
7 38.4k hugs
given |
#7
So Sorry that you're struggling! Please do not give up! i am happy that things are getting better now at least for you. Do not hesitate to contact a doctor if you need Help. Hopefully you won't need Hospitalization but if that is the case please do consider it. i Hope your daughter's graduation will go Well. Do try to do the best you can. i am here if you need it and Hopefully many others as well. i Hope things will improve for everyone really soon. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Aviza, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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Aviza
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