[Aviza]

They are moving fast, claim it's because they are in 70's. He wants a trophy wife, my opinion. Telling her she needs to lose weight which she was doing on her own she's in a normal bmi, wants to be mid bmi range, and that she needs a facelift. Which she said she told my dad she'd want when she was old. She's old 71 had a heart attack. Told her I'd be there if she goes through with it, but it could kill her. She's not concerned.

She says he's pushing her to be the best version of herself, they get along. Have things in common. He's generous, spiritual. Said a prayer thanking God for meeting her.

My mom is vain, as am I. She buys many products to make her look younger but does have a very wrinkled face. I know in my heart she's ok with having surgery. I just don't like him being so forward after 5 days. They met with his trust lawyer day 4. He's saying he loves her wants to marry her.

I'm happy and concerned. Should I be concerned if she's happy? She's only getting older or dying. I think he should accept her as is. He won't introduce her to his kids until after surgery. Is my understanding. He wants to make his first wife jealous of how beautiful she is.

Now she's mom. To me she looks fine. Could due with less wrinkles but honestly am I just being overly concerned about his forwardness?

[divine1966]

Does she have money? He is likely after her money, that’s why he is in a rush. This is ridiculous.

If he doesn’t like how she looks why is he dating her. I doubt he is looking for 71 year old trophy wife, he’d be looking for a much younger woman. But he probably looking for a sugar momma if she has some money

They met each other 5 days ago and he's telling her to get a facelift / lose weight? That is not right. To pressure one's partner to do those things at all is not ok in my book. He sounds weird. Of course, its nice someone is making your mom happy. But you can feel discomfort / outrage / and happiness for your mom all at the same time. You are wise to be concerned about her health and wellbeing with this guy.

[Aviza]

I told her to protect herself. He wants her to sell her properties and move to Arizona with him. He plans to keep his condo as a summer place. I told her to keep her townhouse and sell the other stuff but he needs to put money into it himself. We talked about moving to Arizona a few times. But honestly she hesitates on this one she hasn't even seen his place yet. Anyone would bring change but this guy has me worried.

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry this is happening! Please Do not give up! i agree with you and the other wise and wonderful posters that i don't think he should tell your mother what to do especially after such a short time. i'd say he sounds fishy but then again i can't know for sure. Perhaps talking to your mother about this may be a good idea if you haven't tried it already. Let her know your doubts abotu this guy she's seeing. Of course the decision is still up to her but i think you can at least try to clarify your position. Hopefully things will improve really soon for everyone Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Aviza, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Aviza

I told her to protect herself. He wants her to sell her properties and move to Arizona with him. He plans to keep his condo as a summer place. I told her to keep her townhouse and sell the other stuff but he needs to put money into it himself. We talked about moving to Arizona a few times. But honestly she hesitates on this one she hasn't even seen his place yet. Anyone would bring change but this guy has me worried.

Wanting her to sell her house is a bad sign. How long have they been dating?

[unaluna]

Where did she meet this guy? He sounds like a scammer to me. One week and they are talking money? That is ridiculous. Have you googled him? You have been tricked by various scams, is she the same way? She should do a police check on this guy.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Where did she meet this guy? He sounds like a scammer to me. One week and they are talking money? That is ridiculous. Have you googled him? You have been tricked by various scams, is she the same way? She should do a police check on this guy.

Years ago my grandmother had a neighbor and a coworker, very gullible lady, mind you she was a doctor (I think she retired by then) at a clinic my grandma was a nurse at. She’s met this man who forced her to sell her seaside summer house and pocketed the money. He then became increasingly violent. A lot transpired there, eventually he insisted they get rid of her decent flat in the city and move to remote town and we have not heard from her after. She never let anyone know where they moved. My grandma believed he got rid of her in the worst possible way. She never called grandma back and no one at the clinic heard from her. Sad story.

Not saying this man is dangerous. But he is definitely a scammer

[poshgirl]

Aviza, there are so many warning bells ringing here. His actions are very suspicious.

Whilst it's great for an elderly parent to have a life of their own (possibly seeking another partner), men can be gold diggers as well as women. I can relate to some of what you are saying. In her late 70s, my mother got involved with neighbour. Despite him having more money than her, he was mean. They were supposed to be an "item" although he was always on the look-out for someone else. In one case, he told her what he was doing.

I was very careful in expressing my wariness of him. Sadly, he developed alcohol related dementia. Instead of distancing herself, my mother took on carer duties despite him having two children. When I talked to her about the situation, she was defensive.

Everyone reacts differently to these situations. You are right to question his intentions. A police check seems the most sensible route. Please persuade your mother to do this quickly before she actually hands over any money or cannot extricate herself from a difficult situation.

[Aviza]

Thanks guys for the advice. I've tried talking to her she's not listening. Told my brother maybe he'll try. My best friend dad was a cop she googled him didn't find anything bad. They were introduced by the chiropractor a friend formerly my boss.

[Aviza]

Well mom is rethinking her relationship. He has hording tendencies and she's a clean freak.

[poshgirl]

Glad to see that, hopefully, common sense has kicked in!

[Aviza]

Still together planning a trip. Maybe the tickets were not refundable.